


The outcasts

by theArcane



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Agravaine is a bitch, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Morgana's Magic (Merlin), Arthur is a brat, Arthur/Merlin first kiss, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Rewrite, Chains, Don't hate me for this, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s04e06 A Servant of Two Masters, Established Gwen/Morgana, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Evil Morgana (Merlin), F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Forgiveness, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Gwen Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Hate Sex, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Merlin & Morgana Friendship (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Merthur and morgwen rights, Morgana Knows about Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Mortal Merlin, POV Alternating, POV Arthur, POV Gwen (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Morgana (Merlin), POV Multiple, POV Third Person, Parent Gaius (Merlin), Past Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Plot Twists, Post-Season/Series 04, Prison, Protective Gwaine (Merlin), Redeemed Morgana (Merlin), Redemption, Sad, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Until season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 40,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26842936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theArcane/pseuds/theArcane
Summary: Merlin convinces Morgana to give up her quest for the throne of Camelot and to come back to ask for Arthur's forgiveness. But Arthur doesn't take it well, especially after Merlin ends up revealing his own magic in the process.They both get thrown in the prison after that but Arthur and Gwen slowly start coming to terms their friends' magic and try to discover where their hearts truly lie.Thus comes a lot of conflicts and heartbreaks.Set after s04e06: A Servant of Two Masters
Relationships: Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Morgana (Merlin)
Comments: 117
Kudos: 262





	1. One: Merlin

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna say that the first two chapters might look like a drag, but I promise you it gets better afterwards. So just give it a chance :) 
> 
> It starts with Mergana but moves on to Merthur and Morgwen later. I honestly don't know why I wrote Mergana smut in here though.
> 
> I've tried to write this as fast paced as possible without making it too rushed. The chapters aren't very long or drab either, so don't get scared by the number of chapters here.
> 
> *The chapter names are about whose pov is in the said chapter.*

**Merlin**

Merlin woke up with a sharp pain in his chest. His hands were bound up on the ceiling, his legs almost off the floor. He looked around at his surroundings. It was some old dungeon, with many magical objects lying around- _Morgana_.

He started remembering- how he had been hit in the chest with a mace _(explains the pain),_ how he had saved Arthur( _again)_ by separating them, and how he had been captured by the men before falling unconscious.

His chest was still throbbing with pain and his arms seemed to have lost all their blood from being chained so long. He wondered if Morgana intended to kill him, and he knew he was too weak to use his magic to defend himself.

He squinted his eyes as light suddenly entered the dungeon. He heard footsteps down approaching him.

"Good morning."

"Is it?"

"Oh don't be like that. We've a lot of catching up to do." She said in her false sweet voice. "After all I haven't seen you since you condemned my sister to a slow and painful death, thwarted my plans to take over Camelot and forced me to live in a hovel."

"Couldn't do me a favor, could you? Let Arthur know. He still thinks of me as an underachiever. But I'm quite proud of those accomplishments. I can die happy."

Merlin opened his eyes as they finally adjusted to the light. Morgana's hair was a wild mess. Dark circles surrounded her eyes like shadows. Her gown was low cut, exposing parts of her chest. For some reason, she still looked beautiful. Merlin mentally slapped himself.

Morgana's eyes hardened. "Oh you're not going to die. Oh no. You're going to do me a favour."

"I've run out of favours to grant you Morgana." Merlin yanked at his chains but they were too tight.

"Just this last one." She touched his cheek. _Why did her touch seem so tender?_ "And then you can die happy."

"I. am. not. going. to. do. anything. for. you." Merlin said slowly, looking into her eyes.

"You hurt me Merlin." She said in mock hurt voice. "Thought you'd like to repay me after all that you've done to me."

"Yeah, you just tried to take over Camelot a few times and have attempted to kill your brother multiple times. I should definitely feel sorry for you."

Morgana smiled. "Glad we agree. Now are you gonna help me kill my brother or not?"

"So _that's_ your latest plan?" He snorted. "Sending Arthur's manservant to kill him and you take over Camelot. Makes sense. And tell me, My Lady, _why_ would this servant help you?"

"Because," She leaned closer. "You won't be in your senses." Her mouth lingered over his. "Your mind will keep screaming at you to not kill your master, but your brain will be telling you otherwise." She leaned back and laughed.

Merlin looked at her. "I can fight whatever creature you are going to set upon me."

"What are you, a mere servant, going to do, Merlin? You don't even know how to hold a sword."

Morgana's smug expression fueled a hate inside him. He can take Arthur mocking him day and night about his uselessness, but he can't take Morgana. Not this person, whose destiny was so intertwined with his, whose fate could have been as easily as his, if only he knew how to be selfish.

But he was done sacrificing for now.

"Besides," Morgana was still talking. "no sword can kill my creature. No one will be able to even find it. It will consume you from the inside, until you kill Arthur. What poetry it will be! Arthur perishing with his favourite pet in his arms."

"Sure no sword can touch it." Merlin straightened himself. "But will this do?"

His eyes glowed and some old box on a shelf fell off with a loud _clang!_

For a moment Merlin wondered if he had made a mistak, revealing his true powers to his nemesis, but the look of shock on Morgana's face made him realize it was worth it. It filled him with a new energy.

"Y..you?" She gasped out. "What..how..when did you?"

"Since birth."

"You traitor!" She suddenly shrieked.

"Traitor to whom Morgana? _You?_ Who has only believed in using our gift to torture innocents?"

"Uther Pendragon was not an innocent." She started pacing with anger. "Arthur Pendragon is not an innocent. This pretty boy, who you insist on defending every chance you get, wouldn't hesitate a moment before putting you on the gallows if he ever finds about you!"

_As if Merlin didn't already know that._

"He will be merciful. More than you, at least."

Morgana gave a hollow laugh. "Why? You believe his love for you will change him? He couldn't even forgive his own sister. What is so special about you, Merlin?"

"Maybe if you hadn't imprisoned his father and his Knights and just tried talking to him, he could've helped." He snapped.

" _Talking?_ " She stopped and slowly looked at him. " I tried talking to you. Where did that leave me?" Her voice was soft now, a touch of real hurt there.

Merlin closed his eyes. He had always wondered what would've happened if he had opened up to Morgana. If he could've reached out to her before. But even then, he had been afraid. Afraid of what would happen if Arthur found out _. It always came back to him._

"I am sorry." He looked her in the eyes. 

"Your _sorry_ won't do much good now, would it? Maybe if you hadn't tried to poison me that day.." She trailed off.

"You were going to kill everyone. I had no other option."

"You know what, Merlin?" She again stepped closer to him. "You think you're so righteous, always trying to do the right thing. But tell me. What is your definition of right and wrong? Me trying to kill Uther is wrong but him trying to kill every one of our kind is right? Arthur raiding the Druid's villages to impress is father is right but me trying to take my rightful throne is wrong? Tell me, Merlin."

Merlin had no answer to that, except one. "Everything that has to do with Arthur is right for me. Keeping him happy is right for me. Serving him is right for me."

To Merlin's surprise, Morgana's eyes filled up. She nodded. "Your love for him is right, but my love for everyone has been proved wrong. Uther would've killed me if he knew about me. Arthur never bothered to listen to my problems. Gwen thought it was better to report my magic to Gaius instead of coming to talk to me. And _you_ ," Her pain filled eyes pierced Merlin's heart. "You thought I wasn't even worthy enough to hold your tiny secret when I was pouring out my heart to you." A teardrop fell down her cheek.

"Morgana." Merlin said quietly.

She shook her head and wiped her tear on her sleeve.

"Morgana." He said again. "Please."

She looked at him, their eyes met and she understood his silent plea. Her eyes glowed and his hands were free. He massaged his wrists and then put his arms around Morgana, pulling him closer to his chest.

"I am sorry. That I couldn't love you enough." He whispered in her hair.

"I don't need you! Any of you." She tried to push him away, but he stood his ground, weak as he was, refusing to let go. She gave up.

"Shh." He said, as she sobbed in his chest and gently ran his hand through her hair.

She looked up at him, her eyes wet, but so beautiful. She tiptoed as their lips met. Merlin wrapped his hands tightly around her waist to pull her closer and suddenly sparks were flying, literally. Objects around the room clattered as they fell on the floor. He didn't know whose magic was doing that. He only knew that in that moment he had no control over himself.

Merlin knew that they held no love for each other, not after everything that they've done. They were only channeling all those years of hurt, of being misjudged and wronged, of not being appreciated enough. Of not being loved enough.

But today, they were going to let it out. Let it all out. He forgot about Arthur and Camelot at that moment. He could only feel Morgana. _She was enough for now._


	2. Two: Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Morgana have *sex* and Merlin tries to convince Morgana to give Arthur a chanve again.

**Merlin**

He knew it was wrong, that for all her tears and fears, Morgana still wanted the throne. She still wanted Arthur dead.

But he couldn't stop himself as his hands ran all over her body and his tongue explored her mouth. He wondered how Arthur would react if he found out what he was doing. Then again, Arthur might've already gotten himself a new servant.

"Merlin." Morgana broke their kiss, panting. "This is wrong."

"But does it _feel_ wrong?" He raised an eyebrow.

In answer, Morgana undid his neckerchief and started sucking on his collarbone. Merlin moaned. He grabbed her hair and brought her face up to kiss her again. Her hands reached for his buttons and he felt cool hair on his chest as his shirt was ripped open.

He asked as she trailed kisses down his chest. "You sure?" He knew there would be no going back.

"I need this." She whispered, coming up to meet his eyes, her hands reaching down his pants.

That was all the signal Merlin needed. He pushed her against a wall and started kissing her everywhere. Her lips, cheeks, neck, anything he could find. She had grabbed her hair so tightly that his eyes were filled with tears of pain. For some reason, that aroused him even more.

He ripped her gown at the bosom and grabbed her breast. He put a nipple in his mouth and sucked gently, earning a long moan out of her.

She put a hand inside his pants and moved her hand frantically. "C'mon Merlin." There was a desperation in her voice that matched his desires.

He lifted up her gown. Since the first time he had seen her, he had always wondered what it would be like to touch her, to have her moaning out his name like this. And now that his fingers pushed inside her, he knew he could've never imagined the wonders in a thousand dreams. Having her writhe under him while their hands prepared the other was truly spectacular.

"Get on with it." She commanded.

Merlin nodded and grabbed her by the ass. Her legs wrapped around him as he sheathed himself inside her. Merlin had been with other men and women before, but nothing could compare with this.

She closed her eyes as her nails dug into his back, asking for more and Merlin gave it to her. For the first time, he noticed how much she resembled her brother. _If only he were here instead.._

He came inside her, clutching her so hard, refusing to let go.

*******

"That was, um," Merlin didn't know what to say. They were both lying down on the cold floor, dressed, after repairing their torn clothes with magic.

"I didn't know you had it in you." Morgana smirked.

"I have managed to surprise you quite a lot of times today."

She laughed. It reminded Merlin of the innocent, good Morgana he used to know.

"So what now? I get up and kill Arthur?"

"If you're still down for it." She smirked, and Merlin rolled his eyes.

"You think he's gonna take you back after I spread the rumors all over Camelot about how you have magic and you slept with his enemy?" Morgana said after a while.

Merlin sighed and sat up, wondering if it would work. "What will you do Morgana? Kick me out, kill him off and take the throne. And then what? Rule alone? You have lost every friend, every kin you had. Tell me who is going to be royal to you?"

"I have my men." She was not meeting his eyes.

"Your men who change loyalties faster than their clothes? Admit it. They only follow you because they are terrified of you. The moment they see someone more powerful than you, they're going to scatter away like fish in a pond. They are not yours."

She looked at him, ice in her eyes. "That throne is _my_ right."

"And Arthur would have gladly given it to you, if only you knew how to ask nicely."

She smiled sadly. "You put much too faith in him."

Merlin shrugged. "If you only had half the faith in him."

Morgana sat up too. "Go on then. Go to him and ask him nicely if you dare. And tell me his answer."

"He already knows about my magic Morgana. And he accepts it. He only has to forgive you for the treason."

"He _knows_? Since how long?"

"Just a few weeks back. He caught me red handed. It took him some time to come around but he has started accepting it." Merlin paused. "It's only a matter of time before magic is legal again."

"It can't be true. He is not that forgiving." Morgana said, more to herself, than him.

"Every time you were wronged, it was me or Uther. What folly did your brother do to you? He is your blood. The last of your kins. If not for me, at least honor this bond between you and come back." He took her hands in his. "I beg of you. There are many who will take you back with open arms. You can rule by your brother's side. Help me bring magic back to Camelot."

She considered him for a long time with those colorful eyes of hers. "What if- what if he puts me to my death?"

"He still loves you. I know it. I have seen it. Besides, he always listens to me, you know that."

"All this for me. Why?"

He shook his head. "Not for you. For Arthur and Gwen. You broke their hearts and I am giving you a chance to mend them again."

Something about Gwen's name clicked inside Morgana and she got a determined look on her face.

She stood up. "Take me back."


	3. Three: Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin finally takes Morgana back to Arthur, but how will Arthur react?

**Merlin**

It took them a day to reach Camelot, hiding from the knights and patrol guards who, for some reason, were roaming the forest in great numbers. Merlin knew that if they saw her they would immediately move to arrest her and she would fight back. He didn't want any blood on his hands, at least not more than necessary. He wanted to take her to Arthur first.

"So what's your plan?" She asked as they rode closer to the castle. "Or do you even _have_ a plan?" She mocked.

Merlin could see in her eyes how naive she thought him to be. But for all his affection and determination to do the right thing, he didn't trust her. At all. He knew it wouldn't so simple, that she would just come to her enemy's lair, leaving her men behind. Or maybe she already had men inside. He promised himself to not leave her out of sight for even a moment. It was a huge gamble he was betting on, and destiny and him has never been his friend, but this was a game he was willing to play.

"We will make it up as we go."

*******

Merlin soon realized that hiding from the guards in the forest was nothing as compared to hiding from all the servants, maids, councilmen and guards in the palace. But they managed to thwart them every time, mainly with a flash of their eyes and hid in an abandoned room till night fell.

"Ready?" He asked, moving out of the room with Morgana behind him.

Morgana didn't say anything and took his hand. Together they made their way towards Arthur's chambers. Thankfully there were barely any guards in the corridor and the ones stationed outside his rooms were easily put to sleep by his spell.

He said, "Wait here." As he opened the doors, his heart hammering loudly. Everything could go wrong tonight. And he knew he was doomed even if they went right.

"Arthur." He spoke gently to his sleeping form. "Arthur." He said again, shaking him slightly.

Arthur squinted his eyes open, irritated at whoever woke him up at this hour. But when he saw Merlin's form standing in front of him, his eyes flew open.

"Merlin!" He immediately got up from the bed and to Merlin's surprise, pulled him into a hug. It was the first time Arthur had touched him this intimately and Merlin wanted to take him all in. But there was no time for that.

"Where _have_ you been?" Arthur asked as they pulled apart. "I searched day and night for you, you bumpkin!"

_The search parties.._

Merlin didn't smile. "There is something-"

"Never mind that now! Are you okay? You are not hurt or something?" He looked him up and down. "Because let me tell you, hiring a new servant is such a pain in the arse."

"Arthur." Merlin said a little loudly. "I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Morgana was the one who took me."

Arthur froze. "What?" 

"I got captured by her when we got seperated. It was her men who attacked us." 

"How.. how did you escape?" 

"I didn't. She let me go."

"She _let_ you go?"

"Yes." Merlin cleared his throat. "She repents."

"She _repents?_ What did she do to you?"

"You know her better than me. Don't you believe there's still some goodness left inside her?"

Arthur shook his head. "Merlin I don't know what she said or did to you but I am glad you are back." He clapped him on the shoulders. "Just promise me you will get your head checked by Gaius on the morrow."

"I didn't come here alone." Merlin took a step back.

"Who accompanied you?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

Merlin backed away towards the door. "Promise me you will keep your head."

"Merlin. _Who_ did you bring?" Arthur's voice was hard.

Merlin gave him a last apologetic glance before turning back and going out of his chambers. He returned with Morgana behind his back. He saw Arthur's blue eyes fill with much more hate than Merlin thought he was capable of.

"What is she doing here?" He said slowly, drawing out his sword from the bedside table and pointing it towards them.

"Arthur listen to me." Merlin said as they stepped inside his chambers.

" _Mer_ lin I asked you, what is she doing here?" He bellowed.

"Brother, please. I have come to ask you nothing but forgiveness." She spoke softly but Arthur was adamant.

"What did you do to him?" He pointed towards Merlin. "Is his mind under your control?"

"No. I tried to, I admit. But then Merlin made me realize what I had done. And how much I've hurt you and Father. I can only beg you for your mercy on my knees." She bowed her head.

Arthur looked at her for a good minute. As soon as Merlin started considering the possibility that he would forgive her, that's when he opened his eyes and yelled "Guards!"

Merlin looked at Morgana and the slight triumph in her eyes, thinking that the guards were knocked out. He had known it would come to this, but it didn't make it any easier when he closed his eyes and said a silent spell. The guards were awake.

"Guards!" Arthur yelled again as this time they rushed in. Morgana looked at Merlin with a slightly shocked look on her face and Merlin just shrugged.

"Take her." Arthur commanded them.

"Arthur." Merlin tried for the last time. "It's your sister."

"I have no kin left." He said, his voice cold as the ice.

Those words finally broke Morgana and she shrieked, "I have had _enough_." She raised a hand to throw away the guards but Merlin was quicker. He already had his spell ready and before she could do anything, his eyes glowed and Morgana was flying before her head hit a wall and fell down on the floor with a grunt.

Merlin looked down at her and turned away to look at Arthur. They were both staring at him. He realized how much their eyes resembled each other, especially when they had the same look of hurt in them.

 _He had broken two hearts tonight. He had lied to Morgana about protecting her and about Arthur's knowledge of his magic. The truth was that Arthur never even had an inkling about it. He had only said it to Morgana to make her mind about coming here. And in some way, he knew it was better that Arthur had not forgiven her so soon._ _This way, she would be chained up in a dungeon and Arthur would be safe. Of course he had already made the choice of coming out to Arthur. He knew it meant losing him forever, but it was the only way to capture Morgana._

He closed his eyes in resignation as Arthur's voice hit him from a thousand leagues away. "Take them both."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Merlin is a little bitch, hoodwinking Morgana like that, but it's not like him to trust anyone so easily :/ 
> 
> Btw, please leave kudos or comments if you liked it:))


	4. Four: Morgana and Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur comes to meet Merlin in his cell

**Morgana**

Morgana paced her cell, unable to sleep. Her head still hurt from when she had hit the wall. Merlin.

Just thinking about that name made her blood boil. How could she have been so stupid, so naive to believe that the boy had her best interests in his heart. Or that his Master even has an ounce of love in him to forgive her.

But then again, she only had herself to blame. She had decided to leave everything behind and come here on hearing one name. Her lover's name.

_Her lover who was now betrothed to her brother.._

**Merlin**

Merlin squinted his eyes as light entered the dark cell and saw three figures standing at the door.

"Get up." Arthur's voice was colder than the water they threw on him.

Merlin shivered as water entered his clothes but he stood up. The chains were already too cold against his wrists.

"Stay here." Arthur motioned to his guards as he entered the cell. He drew his sword at Merlin.

"One move, _Sorcerer_ , " Arthur said the word with all the contempt in his voice. "And I run this through you."

Merlin kept staring at him, almost daring him to come true to his threat. His chains rattled as he backed up against the wall

"I have questions."

"Go on."

Arthur tilted his head. "How long have you been helping Morgana."

"Define helping."

"My apologies. Let me rephrase that. How long have you been betraying me?"

_Always the drama queen._

"Um, let me see, I think, since..never."

Arthur lifted up his sword and it's tip was at Merlin's throat. "I won't play your games. I need answers now!"

"I have never been anything but loyal to you Arthur." His back was aching from being pressed against the stone wall for so long but there was nowhere to move.

Arthur's stone cold eyes betrayed nothing. " _Bugger_ your loyalty. All you have done is lie to me."

"About my magic, not about my faithfulness for you."

He obviously chose to ignore the last part. "You have always been in love with her, haven't you? I could see it in your eyes, when you came here. You could never tear away your gaze from her."

 _He could see all that, yet he could never the way I held his face in my eyes?_ Merlin thought.

"That was nothing but an innocent crush. She meant nothing to me the moment she tried to take your father's throne. I promise."

"Did she ask you to stay here to spy on me? You were my closest," Arthur cleared his throat. " _servant_ after all."

Merlin knew he had meant to say something else, but he would never say it.

"If I were spying on you and working with Morgana, Camelot would have fell a long time ago. Why would we wait so long? And why would we let ourselves be thrown in dungeon when we could have easily taken you and your guards?"

There was some confusion in the King's eyes as he tried to stumble around Merlin's logic. But in the next moment, they hardened again. "I don't know what your plans are, _Warlock_ , but I promise you that you won't stay alive long enough to execute them."

As he stormed out of the cell, the one thing that really struck Merlin was not that Arthur had just promised to execute him. It was the fact that he had refused to call him by his name even once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur is a bitch too tbh but hey he will come around eventually ;)


	5. Five: Morgana and Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen sneaks into the prison to visit Morgana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter

**Morgana**

"Food." A guard said as he opened her cell door to let a maid in. Morgana was lying down, facing the wall. She couldn't care less about eating some mortal food. She had tried to break apart the cell door and the walls but the chains they had put on her were designed specifically to contain her power.

_Damn Uther.._

"Sir Leon has asked for a meeting with the guards. You will have to attend." The maid was telling the guards.

_Something about that voice.._

"We cannot leave the prisoner unguarded."

"I am here and besides she is weak and chained. No harm will come to me."

"If King Arthur finds out.."

"I don't know about my _betrothed_ but if his Second-in-Command finds out that you have disobeyed his direct answers then you are in serious trouble."

Morgana turned around just in time to see the guards running hurriedly away. The maid lifted her cloak and faced her.

"Gwen.." She gave her a sly smile.

"Morgana." Gwen replied curtly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't know."

Her answer didn't surprise Morgana. She shuffled up on her feet. "How did you manage to convince Leon to help you?"

Gwen shrugged. "We are friends. I convinced him to let me have some alone time with you. And Merlin's arrest has left everyone with bitter feelings for-" She caught herself in time, but Morgana already knew.

"And you?" She took a step towards Gwen. "Do you also have bitter feelings for your _beloved_?"

"Merlin betrayed us all! Just like you. I understand him completely."

"And you still came to see me. Even after everything I did to you. Why?"

Gwen shuffled uncomfortably on her feet but didn't answer.

"I knew you wouldn't forget all our secret nights and whispered confessions." She touched Gwen's shoulder with her cuffed hands. Gwen flinched as if a snake had bit her.

"You were the one who forget them first Morgana. You don't get to come here and tell us that you are sorry and expect us to forgive you. How do I even trust you anymore?"

Morgana sighed. "Then don't. Don't trust me or forgive me, not now. But maybe weeks or months or years later, you will. You will not keep me chained here forever, would you, my dear Gwen? Because when you will be pushing out my brother's babies and attending his councilmen with a fake smile on your face, that's when you will miss me the most. You will miss _my_ fire and you will come running back to me."

Gwen kept shaking her head at Morgana's words like they physically hurt her.

"You've not changed, have you, _My Lady_?" Gwen said when she had composed herself. "Once again you are ready to ruin your brother's life for your selfish desires."

"Are you truly so naive to not see that my brother only has eyes for his servant?"

Gwen looked at her like she had stabbed her, but in her eyes, she didn't see any shock. Only fear and shame. Morgana wondered how long will she keep lying to herself as she ran out of the cell. And how long till she realizes that she only belongs to Morgana..

**Merlin**

"Why Merlin? Why did you behave so stupidly?"

"Arthur is safe now." Merlin murmured.

"Safe against one threat. What if another dangerous sorcerer comes to Camelot tomorrow to take revenge against his father? Who will protect him then?" Gaius said.

"I don't know, Gaius. I don't know." Merlin put his head in his hands, tears forming in his eyes. "You didn't see him. How Morgana had broken his heart. He was terrified of her, not because of her powers, but because he knew that when faced with the option, he will not be able to kill her. And it broke him, Gaius. I saw it in his eyes, day and night. I just wanted to end his suffering."

"You've rid him of the burden of his choice," Gaius said softly. "But you have put another burden on him. The burden of choosing you over all his laws and principals."

Merlin chuckled through his tears. "What is life of a servant compared to the whole of Camelot? I am worth nothing to him. He will have me put away without shedding a single tear."

Gaius sighed heavily. "If you only knew your worth Merlin, things would've been lot easier."

His words kept Merlin awake for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kinda wanted to show how Morgana and Merlin are way too obsessed with Gwen and Arthur.. Like an unhealthy amount.


	6. Six: Merlin and Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen and Arthur are conflicted about their feelings of betrayal

**Merlin**

Sun came in and faded out and Merlin stopped keeping count of how many days it has been. Gaius or Gwaine would occasionally come to visit him, but that was it.

There had been no sign of Gwen or Arthur. Gaius told him that he barely came out of his chambers anymore except when absolutely necessary and that Gwen also kept neglecting most of her duties. Gwaine said that The King was behaving like a "princess" and kept snapping at everyone. But they both fell silent whenever he asked them if he had reached a decision yet. _Of when to put his head on a spike_. He hoped it'd be soon. His wrists had been chaffed raw by the handcuffs.

The door of his cell opened and a guard announced food. As if on cue, it was Gwen who brought it.

"Gwen!" Merlin tried to get up on his feet. He had a feeling his ribs were beginning to show.

Gwen startled and started to hurry out of the prison.

"Gwen, please. One moment. Please." Merlin rasped out, trying to walk towards Gwen as far as his chain would allow.

Gwen stopped and looked back at him.

"Hurry." A guard banged the door and barked.

"Give me two minutes." Gwen said in a fake sweet voice. The guard nodded.

"At least have the courage to look at me."

Gwen raised her eyes. "How can I help you?" All sweetness gone from her voice.

"You hate me. It's fine. I don't blame you."

"I don't hate you. And I don't want an explanation from you about your whole _magic_ thing. I just want to know why you betrayed Arthur for Morgana."

Merlin breathed slowly. "I no longer have the energy left to justify all the things I've done. All I can say is that I've always been loyal to Camelot and it's King."

"It's a bit hard to believe after you brought Morgana here with you asking Arthur to take her in."

"Believe whatever you want. I just want to see him."

"So that you can beg him for his mercy? Tell me, Merlin. Why do you deserve to live when my father died for the crimes of your kindl?"

Her words caught him by surprise. "I am ready to go to my grave with the knowledge that Arthur is safe from her. Just do me this one last favor. Ask him-"

 _Bang!_ The guard indicated Gwen that her time was up.

"I can't help you." Her eyes hardened. "I have to go."

"Gwen please!" He rushed forward and took her hands in his. "For the sake of our friendship-" A sharp pain object hit him on the side of his head as he was yanked away from her. They pressed him down to the floor. "Tell him!" He kept yelling as she started moving out, looking very uncomfortable. "Tell that coward to stop hiding and face me one last time before sending me to my death! One last time, Gwen, you tell him. _One last time!_ "

Another hit and the last thing he remembered was seeing stars as Gwen's purple gown sweeped out of the cell.

**Guinevere**

Gwen rushed out of the prison. Seeing Merlin look so skinny (skinnier than before). She might have started resenting him, but she definitely didn't wanted to see such a fragile thing being beaten so badly by those idiots.

 _Not fragile,_ she told herself. All this time he has been capable of killing everyone with one blow. _Then why hadn't he?_

 _One last time!_ It kept ringing in her ears. Would Arthur really put him and Morgana to their deaths? And would she even mourn them?

She and Arthur had both lost their fathers to sorcery. What makes Merlin and Morgana different from the rest of their kind? _You love them._ A small voice said in her head. Did she truly? She thought she once knew Morgana. But her hunger for power had blinded her. She had given everything up, even Gwen. Why should she forgive her for that?

But she still couldn't get over the way the sorcerers had looked at her, pleading for her forgiveness, her kindness. _And if Gwen can't grant them that, what truly differentiated her from the sorcerers who had taken her father's life?_

If only there was _someone_ she could talk to..

*******

"We need to talk." She said to Arthur as she entered his chambers.

From his position, it looked like Arthur had been standing and staring out of the window.

"Guinevere." He looked at her with bloodshot eyes. His hair was dishvelled too. This has been his look since quiet a few days now. "Not now. I have a thousand things to do." He started shuffling through random papers on his table.

Gwen walked over to him with long strides. She took the papers from his hand and threw them on the table. "No, we need to talk _now_!"

Arthur looked surprised from the tone of authority in her voice but at least it did the job. He said, "What is it?" A stupid question to ask, since he knew exactly what she was going to talk about.

"Merlin." She breathed out. "If you are going to hang him, hang him. If you have to banish him, then send him packing away. If you mean to pardon him, then do it! But for God's sake, do not leave him to rot in that dungeon. The poor thing's dying." She knew it would be easier to convince him for Merlin's mercy.

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "If you care so much about him, why haven't you been to visit him before? And why did you visit Morgana, and that too by lying to the guards?"

Gwen was taken aback. "You.. you have been keeping an eye on me?"

"Not you. I am not mad at you either. Those guards report everything to their King. About what those two are up to."

"And what have you found out?" Gwen said coolly.

Arthur lowered his eyes. "Nothing. All they do is toss and turn around in their cells."

Gwen considered for a moment. "What do you think are they trying to do? Trying to win our sympathy? So they can kill us later" She didn't know what had gotten into her. _Why had she burst in here, defending Merlin, when she herself wasn't ready to trust either of them?_

Arthur put his face in his hands and slumped down on the chair. "I don't know, Guinevere. All of my kin has betrayed me one way or the other. But for some reason, _he_ hurt me the most. I thought he was some stupid, lanky boy whose only purpose in his life was to serve me, but all this time he had all these powers. And it kills me that he decided to use them for my sister, instead of me."

 _Are you truly so naive to not see that my brother only has eyes for his servant?_ Gwen tried to shake away Morgana's words. She looked at Arthur. It was the first time he had decided to talk about Merlin after his arrest. He looked so broken..

She ran a hand through his hair gently. "I know how it feels." She said, thinking about Morgana. "We trusted them and they broke us. But I promise you, we will be better off without them. It's time to let go."

As he sobbed into her chest, her thoughts rushed back to the Sorceress down in the dungeons and of the sweet, innocent girl she used to be. She hated herself for thinking this, but she wondered if it would be more peaceful for all of them if Arthur would finish building the gallows soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls don't hate on Gwen. She's just v v conflicted about her feelings and doesn't know what to do anymore.


	7. Seven: Arthur and Morgana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaius gives Arthur a piece of his mind.

**Arthur**

Arthur groaned loudly when he felt his manservant shaking him awake. He didn't want to open his eyes, to see that boring face with ready with his perfect breakfast and his perfectly kept clothes. But he has to. He's the King after all.

"George." He said curtly, sitting up.

"Sire. I have your breakfast and your list of duties for the day. I have prepared your bathwater and I have your clothes freshly washed and ironed." The boy said it all in a monotonous tone.

"That is very good George, thank you. You may leave now to complete your day duties."

"I have to dress you first, My Lord."

"No that won't be necessary." Arthur said immediately. "I need you to, um, clean the stables. Urgently." He retched out the first task that came in his head.

"As you wish, My Lord." George bowed and left. That was one of the good things about George, he never questioned anything. Even the fact that Arthur never allowed to dress him or undress him. The first time he had tried, Arthur had flinched from his touch. He blamed it on a violent itch that day, and every time after that, he kept making new excuses to dress by himself. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't bear the thought of someone touching him, other than Merl-

Arthur shook his head violently as if that would just throw that thought right out of his head.

He took a deep breath as he forced himself out of his bed, his thoughts again going back to the time when his manservant used to drag him out of it. He brought himself back to the present by trying to think about his work today. But even that didn't help. It only filled him with dread. Sitting in his council, with Agravain and the others asking him continuosly when was he preparing to hang his servant. For some reason, his Uncle only seemed focused on hanging off Merlin. Maybe he still had a little affection for his blood..  
And then from the other side, he only got daggers from Gwaine, Percival, Elayne and even Sir Leon, his most loyal servant. He had even pardoned him for letting Gwen meet Morgana behind his back as a gesture of their friendship, but even that didn't seem to work.   
He wondered what kind of charm his servant had set upon all of them. Even Arthur had started hating himself for what he had done.

Gwen didn't help either. She knew how hurt she had been after Morgana's betrayal and now another of her friends had done that. He had thought that she should rebuke him or demand Merlin's release but all she had to say last night was to put both of them to peace. He was still unsure as to what kind of _peace_ he wanted to put them to.

He put a piece of bread in his mouth but it felt so dry and suddenly his stomach seemed full even though he had scarcely eaten a morsel the night before. He put it down in disgust. He wondered what he should do next. Maybe a bath, that would be proper. As far as he could remember, he hadn't bathed yesterday and he was stinking heavily now.

After he'd bathed and put in his pants, there was a knock.

"Who is it?"

A guard peeked his face through the door and said, "The court physician's here to see you." That was a surprise. Ever since he had gotten his ward arrested, Gaius had barely talked to Arthur. All he did was give him disappointed glances and empty courtesies.

"Let him in."

Gaius came up to him slowly. On closer look, he seemed to have aged at least 10 years since in the past few days.

"My Lord." He bowed. Arthur remembered always telling him to not bow or treat him like a Lord.

"Gaius. What is it that brings you here?"

"Your servant came to me. He said that you wouldn't let him do his assigned chores."

"What chores?"

"Like dressing you, for instant."

_So little George wasn't such a pushover after all._

"I figured he's new and might be overwhelmed by the load of work on him." This lie came easy to him.

"Of course Sire." Gaius' expression clearly said that he was not buying his sudden compassion for his servants. "Would you like me to help you?"

Arthur nodded, seeing no way out this time.

"You never seemed so concerned for Merlin when he first came into your service." Arthur knew it was coming, but listening to his name still hurt. "As I recall, he never could catch a break from any of his tasks."

"Well it turns out he is well able to handle himself, after all. Isn't it?" Arthur said as Gaius buttoned his shirt. His touch didn't burn him like George's had.

"Of course. I must admit when I first saw him, I didn't expect him to be anything but trouble. But he has handled himself _and_ you very well."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, My Lord." Gaius moved away to bring his jacket. "Just that you'd be surprised by the amount of time he has saved this city and it's rulers."

"If you've come to negotiate his release, you could've said so earlier. There was no need to beat around the bush with me." Arthur said as Gaius moved behind his back to put his arms in the jacket.

"I have a hunch that you would have had me thrown out if I had come bursting in asking for my ward's release."

"You know you've always been a mentor to me, Gaius. I value your counsel more than anything."

Gaius moved in front of him. "Would you value it now?"

"If only it came from your head, instead of your heart."

"You talk as if your heart says anything different my King."

Arthur chose to ignore that. "He is a sorcerer. All this time. Right under our noses. How can you still defend him?"

"Because I gave his mother my oath. That I will protect her boy with everything I've got."

"Protect him?" Arthur stared at Gaius. "You knew?"

He nodded heavily. "Put me in chains if you must, Sire but I cannot take it anymore. He is dying in there and all because he tried to save you, for the hundredth time! What has been his fault, except be a subject to your father's and your bias?"

Arthur felt tears in his eyes. This was too much. "I thought I could trust you."

"And you still can. Trust me when I say that all Merlin has done is serve you. And that he brought your sister here, promising her false mercy so that you could have her in chains. Please, I beg of you. If you hold any love for me, you will give him a fair trial. And not in front of your councilmen, not for show. Only in front of you. Man to man. Will you grant me this wish, Arthur?"

Arthur looked at the old man, so fragile, so broken. He had robbed him of his son. He owed him this. He took his hands in his and looked in his eyes. "I will."

**Morgana**

Of all the two people that came to visit her, this one was her least favourite. Of course, the other was Gwen, who only came once and had run away crying. But this one, didn't get his feelings hurt so easily.

"Uncle." She faked a smile.

"Sorceress." She rolled her eyes at his terrible acting, trying to prove to the guards that he was only here to torture her. "I have come for information."

"Of that, you will get none." Morgana played along to every one of his whims. He was the only one who didn't want to kill her after all.

Agravain told them give them privacy so that he can handle his "neice in his own way" and they shuffled off. _Bugger them._

"What brings you here?" She tried to stand up but it was difficult. Agravain helped her up.

"It can be arranged in a few days. Cenred is ready to send some of it's finest assassins to sneak you out."

"Where were these fine gentlemen when I was trying to kill my brother?"

"It doesn't matter now Morgana. They can free you and even kill His Majesty now that his shifty servant is out of the way. We can take over this kingdom."

Morgana shook her head. She didn't trust Cenred's men. Merlin was right, they weren't hers. _Only her power's_. "I have told you before, Uncle. I am not leaving. Camelot is my home. Arthur is my blood. I will not betray them again."

"Your _blood_ will put you on the gallows soon!" His hands were closed in a fist.

"Well, he hasn't yet, has he? This means he still has some feelings of kinship left."

"What got into you? Why did you leave everything behind to come ask mercy from brother who hates you with his every cell in his body?"

_Not my brother. No, only his betrothed._

"I've come to my senses. And it's time you come to it too. Leave this war behind and help put the Pendragon siblings on the throne together."

"Together? The warlock must have put you under his spell. All that we have worked on-"

"All that we have worked on was built on lies and treachery. I would have no more of that." Morgana turned around. "Leave me, uncle. And let me repent my follies in peace." She heard him storm out angrily. She smiled, satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter but bear with me :3 
> 
> Btw if you have any suggestions on how to improve this fic or if the characters feel too ooc, feel free to tell me! All criticism is welcome ^_^


	8. Eight: Merlin and Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur decides to give Merlin a chance and hears him out.

**Merlin**

_And finally.._ Merlin thought as he saw his King's glorious figure standing against the light. He didn't know how many days has it been where he had dreamed of Arthur coming to him and talking to him. He wasn't even sure whether he was still dreaming.

"My Lord." He sat up and bent his back to give him a mock bow. He didn't have any energy in him to stand up properly.

Arthur sat down on the wooden plank they called a bed. He winced as he felt the hardness beneath him, his royal arse obviously not used to such comfort.

"You should try sleeping on it." Merlin said. On closer look, Arthur didn't look so spectacular after all. His hair looked like it hasn't seen a comb in days and there were heavy dark circles under his eyes. He didn't bring his sword this time, which was a relief.

"Have you come to put my head on a block?"

"No."

"To the gallows, then?"

"No."

"Just rip off the bandage."

"You wanted me to come here and face me, didn't you? _One last time_." He still refused to look at Merlin.

"And here you are. So merciful of you, Your Majesty."

"Tell me then. What do you have to say to me?"

Merlin suddenly experienced a flood of thoughts. He can beg for mercy, or try to explain what had happened with Morgana. Or he can tell him all the times he has saved his life. Or how much he still cared for me.

"Nothing." It was the only word that left his mouth, though.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing. There isn't anything that I want to say to you. Kill me and be done with it."

"And be known for handing out justice without giving someone a fair trial?"

Merlin shrugged. "It was what your father used to do."

"And I am not my father." Arthur said, almost tenderly.

"Are you here to prove it so?"

"I am only here to determine your fate." Arthur looked around the cell, to the dirty rags kept on the bench and the rats scurrying on the floor and then, finally to Merlin's chains. "It's in your hands now. Do you want to save it?"

Merlin took a deep breath. "What do you want me to tell you?" 

"Where it all begin. I need to know everything."

Even though, Merlin barely ate or drank anything and his voice was very weak, he couldn't stop speaking once he started. He talked about how from a young age, he felt objects moving around him whenever he got too emotional. How his friends slowly started getting scared of him. How his mother tried to teach him to hide his powers from everyone and how she sent him to Gaius to have a mentor.

Then he told him how he had tried to hide his magic from everyone and how he lost his father the day he met him the first time. He told him about Lancelot and Freya. He told him of the little tricks and spells he cast behind his back to save his life. He reached to the part where he deliberately made the rocks fall in between them so that Arthur could be safe and Merlin got captured by Morgana. Arthur shifted uneasily on the bench at that part but didn't say anything. Merlin continued and confessed to lying to Morgana to make her come here. He left out some parts like talking to and helping the dragon and sleeping with Morgana. He didn't want to overburden Arthur.

There was a long pause after Merlin finished. The silence felt too loud and he felt his breathing get heavier with each passing second.

"Arthur?"

Arthur was sitting with his hands under his chin and stared straight ahead. He finally said, "You expect me to believe that? That you have been doing this, all these years without seeking any credit? All this, for your _Master_? Who doesn't even treat you right?"

"You are my destiny, as I am yours. We are tied together."

"Seven hells, that's a load of bullshit!"" Arthur got up and trotted around in anger. "At least sell me something that I would believe! Not this crap about how _selfless_ you are." He turned his head away and tore at his hair in frustration.

Merlin stood up unsteadily. "It was not selflessness. Like I said, all I ever wanted go fulfill my destiny." _And you_ , Merlin thought. 

"You believe me. You just don't want to admit it." 

"Admit what, _Merlin_?" He turned around. "That for some reason, you have sacrificed your whole life for me?"

Merlin didn't know what gave him the courage, but he touched his King's shoulder. "You don't think you're worthy enough." Their eyes met for the first time in days, and Merlin was glad to see they weren't as cold as they'd been on the night of his arrest.

"No. I just don't believe that you have ever thought me worthy enough to do that." Arthur said. "If your story is true, which I very much doubt, then tell me why? Why you let yourself be pushed around by everyone, never asking for anything?"

"I was born to serve you. I have never wanted anything else."

"All this to fulfill some stupid _destiny_. There has to be some other reason."

"Why do you ask when you know it already?" Merlin could see it in Arthur's eyes that he knew exactly what he meant. He knew he shouldn't have said anything, but he had already revealed most of his secrets, so what's another one? 

Arthur yanked his shoulder away from him and trotted out. Merlin kept standing in the same spot, long after he left.

**Guinevere**

That night, she and Arthur slept together. She had gone to serve him dinner but he insisted that he wasn't hungry. Instead he took her in his arms and kissed her like never before. There was a hunger in him that wanted to consume her whole. She only responded back with the same vigour, tearing frantically at his clothes, touching all parts of the great Arthur Pendragon that she used to dream of since she was a child. Arthur was perfect in bed, he was the perfect mixture of rough and gentle. She knew it she was not his first. There were always rumors about him sleeping with a servant boy or a girl. She wondered if he knew that he wasn't her first, either. Still, he showed no surprise on the lack of blood under her legs as he entered her. Who would he suspect? _Morgana or Lancelot?_ It didn't matter. He would not judge.

_He was perfect, yes, then why did she picture another face in her mind as she reached her peak?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo the updates are going to be a bit slow now(if any of you are still reading lol) because I have exams but I will finish it soon, I promise :)


	9. Nine: Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur decides to hold a trial for Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole chapter is the trial scene.

**Merlin**

They had allowed him to wash and clean himself today. Gaius had brought him an old jacket to wear. Merlin paced his cell nervously. _Any time now._

"It's time." Gwaine was standing there, ready to accompany him outside.

*******

"Merlin, native of Ealdor, son of Hunith. Father- unknown. Ward of the palace physician Gaius. Was in service of King Arthur Pendragon for four years. To be tried under practice of sorcery, illegal usage of his magical powers and aiding and abetting the Lady Morgana in her crimes against Camelot. The trial will be presided under His Majesty. Let our Gods speak through him."

The words of the court translator rang in Merlin's ears as he was escorted inside the royal court. It had come as a surprise that Arthur was ready to take him to court. He had wondered for a while whether his words had fallen on deaf ears but Gaius had assured him with a hundred per cent confidence that Arthur has no ulterior motive behind this.

Gwaine and Percival were on either side of him. The faylight felt strange to his eyes. The only light he saw for days was from the guard's torches. His handcuffs felt heavy as he slowly walked to the front. He could feel every eye on him. His legs felt even weaker than before and he was sure he will collapse anytime.

Somehow he managed to reach the throne. He knelt before his King. "Your Majesty."

"You may rise." Gwaine helped him to his feet and he came on the stand.

"Bring in the first witness." Arthur said.

Gaius had told him the night before that there were some people who were ready to speak in his favor. He hoped they would be enough.

The first one to come was Percival. He looked like he was sweating already. He gave a quick bow to Arthur and stood on the witness box.

"Percival. Do you swear an oath to speak the truth and only the truth?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"Are you aware of the crimes that Merlin has been accused of?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"And what do you have to say in his defence?"

"Sire, Merlin may be a sorcerer, but he is certainly not evil. He has shown time and again a certain type of courage and loyalty that would have never been expected from someone his kind. I believe that he only had our best interests in his heart."

Arthur's face remained impassive. "Do you have any hard facts to prove your words?"

Percival lowered his eyes. "No My Lord."

"So you speak only from your heart?"

"I speak only from my heart, My Lord." He repeated.

"As I thought. Next witness." Percival looked dismayed but he managed to give Merlin a small reassuring smile before stepping down. 

The next one was Elyan. He looked even more nervous than Percival.

After he had taken his oath, he said. "Of all the times Merlin has been out with us to hunt or complete errands, he had a thousand opportunities to hurt us or make a fool out of us. But he only listened to our jests and japes in silence. The only thing he has ever done is serve us loyally."

"Do you know what Merlin used to do in his free time?"

"No Sire."

"Can you say with confidence that he didn't go to visit the Lady Morgana when we all fell asleep in the forest at night?"

"No Sire."

"And do you have any proof that all the bandits and magical creatures we have encountered were not, in fact, sent my Merlin himself?"

"No Sire." Elyan looked suddenly confident. "I cannot say that he didn't send them. But I will say that they were defeated every time, by a stroke of luck, you might say, but now I think we can all take a wild guess as to where that luck came from."

"Next witness."

The next one was Gwaine. They couldn't get much out of him except things like " _Merlin would never even harm a fly"_ and _"Stop being a Princess."_ He was escorted out soon, of course.

After that came Sir Leon. Merlin was a little surprised to see him speak in his defence, he had always been closer to Arthur. But he still spoke today. Although he didn't say anything that Elyan and Percival hadn't already said and he was dismissed soon too.

Next was Gaius.

"How long has Merlin been your ward?"

"Four years."

"And in those four years, did you ever get the notion that he was practicing sorcery?"

Gaius looked at Merlin. "No, Sire."

He had told him yesterday that Arthur advised him against admitting to knowing about Merlin's magic in front of the whole court. Otherwise his councilmen would start pressurising him to arrest Gaius too. Merlin was glad to know that at least Arthur still cared for his guardian.

"Did you ever find any spellbooks or mysterious objects in his possessions?"

"No Sire."

"Did you ever notice him sneak off for long periods of time or caught him lying about his whereabouts or making weird friends?"

"As far as I know, his only friends are present in this court right now." He stole a glance towards Gwaine and the rest of the knights. "And the only free time he got was spent in the tavern."

Merlin couldn't help but smile a little at that. _The first time in his life he was actually grateful for the tavern excuse._

"Did Morgana ever come to visit him in his chambers when she was here or did you ever feel that they were spending time together, more than what deems acceptable?"

"Merlin and Morgana barely ever saw each other. It was her maid servant who he was friends with."

Merlin couldn't help but feel a sting of hurt at the words " _was_ friends with." He glanced at Gwen, standing among the crowd and she stared back. There was a hint of apology in her eyes. _Because she wasn't going to testify._

After Gaius, came a string of servant boys and girls and the cooks, (all praises about how much of a _sweet boy_ Merlin was) and even the tavern lady who claimed that Merlin did, indeed, spent a lot of time there. How Gaius had gotten her to do that was beyond him. But then he saw her pass a wink to Gwaine as she was moving out, who winked back and Merlin didn't want to know any further.

After that, some of the servants of course complained about how he was nothing but a troublesome boy (he suspected Agravaine behind it). 

But that didn't dampen his mood. Because he was still surprised to see so many people _actually_ stand up for him.

He told himself to not get so happy so soon because anything could happen and he was right.

The next witness was Agravaine. As expected, he had nothing but complaints about how sorcery is bad, be in any form ( _Except when your niece is wielding it to take the throne_ , Merlin thought).

Merlin had to give him kudos for being such a great actor as he cried actual tears talking about how their _beloved_ king, Uther also died of magic. Then he started talking about he always had an " _instinct_ " that something was " _wrong with this boy_." Arthur looked bored the entire time.

"If that will be all, I would like to conclude this trial." Arthur said when Agravaine's rantings finally came to a stop.

"My Lord." Looks like he wasn't done yet. "I believe we have one more witness."

Merlin froze. _This_ _can't be good._

"Who do you have in mind, Uncle?" Arthur asked, puzzled.

"Surely we must not forget the reason this boy stands on trial. If there is anyone who can confirm whether he was aiding Lady Morgana, it would be none other than _Lady Morgana._ "

Arthur looked at Merlin. _Was there fear in his eyes?_

But then he said, "You are right. Bring her to me."

"Of course, Sire." Agaravaine clapped his hands and two guards came in, holding a woman. If anything, Morgana looked scarier than before. Her face looked gaunt and hollow as her cheeks were sunk. Her hair looked more like a tangle of spiderwebs. Her wrists seemed too thin to hold her chains. She looked at Merlin and smiled.

 _So this was her plan?_ She would easily lie and tell everyone that she and Merlin have been working together all this time and no one has any proof to counteract that. Merlin cursed himself for not thinking about it before. He was doomed. Arthur had just started believing him.

"Do you swear an oath to speak the truth and only the truth?" If the way Arthur has been looking at Merlin was considered _cold_ , then his expression at seeing Morgana was a thousand times worse. His face looked completely incapable of displaying any emotion.

"Yes." Morgana said hoarsely.

"Are you aware of the crimes that Merlin has been accused of?"

"Yes."

"Would you mind repeating them so that the rest of us can hear it again?"

"He has been accused of sorcery and of aiding me in my crimes."

"And what do you have to say to that? _Has_ he been helping you?" Arthur kept his face as passive as possible but this time his tone betrayed a hint of desperation in his voice.

 _This was it. This was the moment._ He looked at Gaius and then at Gwaine, and then at Leon, Percival and Elyan. This could be the last time he was seeing them. He would miss them in heaven, or hell whatever. He closed his eyes as he waited for the sword to fall on his neck.

"No."

"I beg your pardon?" The surprise in Arthur's voice was nothing compared to the utter shock Merlin felt. _Did he just hear it wrong?_

"I said, no. If anything Merlin has only tried to stop me over and over again. In fact, he is the reason I was always unsuccessful in taking over Camelot."

"So you _did_ kidnap him that day?" 

"Aye, My Lord. I intended to send him to you so that he might kill you but instead he talked to me. Told me what a fool I had been in my hunger for power. He made me see things rationally again and for that I will be forever grateful, even in my chains."

_Why was she doing this? Why was she helping him when she knew that he had betrayed her?_

"She does not know what she is talking about, My Lord." Agravaine stood up. "All this time in the dungeons might have addled her memory!"

"I am in total control of my senses, Uncle. I only speak clearly about the truth."

"B- but, surely you don't believe this boy to be _innocent_?"

"That's enough, Uncle." Arthur stood up. "There is no evidence to prove that Merlin has ever done anything to jeopardize this kingdom or it's people. To the contrary, it seems like he used his powers only for the good, which is surprising, I must admit, but not unfathomable. It's time we lay down our biases against their kind and start seeing them in a different light." He turned to Merlin. "As a token of our gratitude, you are pardoned for your usage of sorcery. You are permitted to stay here, in care of Gaius and you will help us thwart any and every threat to Camelot. But be warned, if I get even a hint that your powers are not being used for good, I will see to it personally that you will be executed. Is that clear?"

Merlin beamed as he nodded. He even forgot about Morgana as she was escorted back to her cell. All the could think was that he has been pardoned and Arthur does not hate him anymore. _This was more than he could have ever hoped for._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't historically inaccurate or sth and because I don't know how medieval era trials were held- like a full court trial.
> 
> Also, please don't be mad at Gwen for not speaking. She will soon come around too ;)
> 
> And please leave kudos or comments if you like this story because that's really encouraging xoxo


	10. Ten: Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinevere tries to reason with Arthur about Morgana.

**Guinevere**

"So does Arthur ever intend to change his mind about me or was all his talk of "seeing magic in a different light" was just that- talks?"

"I don't know Morgana." Gwen said. "I don't know what he feels about both of you. He released Merlin but barely talks to him anymore."

"Does he talk to you?"

"Well, of course." Gwen lied. The truth was that Morgana's return and Merlin's magic reveal had driven a wedge between them. They were too broken to pick up each other's pieces.

"Why does _he_ get pardoned and I don't?"  
Morgana said, her head tucked between her knees.

"It might be something to do with the amount of people you have killed- including your father."

Morgana smiled. "I have many regrets but one."

Gwen sat down beside Morgana. At least Arthur had allowed her to visit her so that she wouldn't have to sneak her way in here again.

Morgana looked at her. "Have you forgiven me then?"

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"You are here, aren't you?"

"Why did you leave in the first place?" 

"Morgause. She got in my head, I don't know how. She made me believe that you were all my worst enemies." 

"And why did you come back?" Gwen turned her head sideways.

Morgana gave her a odd smile but didn't say anything.

"Will you try to kill him again?"

Morgana looked away. "My brother and I have little love left between us, but that does not mean that what we had growing up was a lie. I forgot that for a while, but now I remember. I hope that one day, he will remember too."

"He never forgot."

"And did _you_ forget? About our love?"

Gwen paused. _How can she answer that?_

"Gwen?" Morgana urged.

"No, Morgana." She rested her head against the cold wall. "I never forgot any of it. No matter how much I tried."

Gwen heard a rattling of chains and then her hand was encased in Morgana's.

"Me neither."

"You have a odd way of showing your love- trying to kill all my friends and my love."

Morgana laughed. "Why do you think I came back?"

"I can't take any more of your lies."

Morgana increased the pressure on her hand. "I am not lying and you know that."

There was something so earnest in the way Morgana was looking at her and before she knew, Gwen was leaning towards her face.

In all the years that have passed between them, everything about Morgana had changed- her looks, her loyalties, her priorities. But her lips, they were still the same. They still fit perfectly between hers. Thy still breathed in the same rythm.

"I will get you out I promise."

*******

"And _why_ would I do that?" Arthur asked.

"Because she is your sister."

"Who killed my father. And tried to kill me- multiple times."

"She repents."

"So that I go soft and she can strike again."

"It's not fair, Arthur." Gwen snapped, losing her patience.

"What do you want me to do?" Arthur said, exasperated. "Just forgive and move on like nothing ever happened?"

"You said magic can be good!"

"I said _magic_ can be good. Not every person who wields it." 

"She deserves justice. Give her a fair trial."

Arthur shook his head determinedly. "Can't do that."

"You gave _Merlin_ one!" Gwen shouted.

Arthur gave her a shrewd look. "Where you refused to speak on his behalf! And now you want to defend _Morgana_?"

Gwen felt her eyes fill up. She knew how much it would have hurt Merlin. _But she wasn't ready._

"Arthur." She ran a hand over his face, cooling down her tone. "You and I both lost our fathers to sorcery. And I know how difficult it was for you to forgive him. But your words, they touched me. I am ready to see magic in a new light too. I regret that not helping Merlin, but I am ready to help Morgana."

She tiptoed on her feet and kissed Arthur gently in the lips. "You saved your servant. Now let me save my mistress."

_How many servants can brag about kissing both the Pendragon siblings in one day?_

Arthur sat down on his bed and Gwen sat down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Do you trust her?" He asked softly.

Gwen thought for a moment. "I truly believe she has changed. I saw it in her eyes."

Arthur nodded.

"So you will give her a trial?"

"No." He said quietly.

Gwen looked up. "Why are you such a stone cold-"

"Before you finish that sentence Guinevere, will you hear me out first?"

Gwen forced herself to calm down lest she ended up in the dungeons beside Morgana for threatening the King.

"If I put Morgana on the stand, tell me how many people will speak for her?" He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "You and..who?"

Gwen thought. There was no one in Camelot who remained loyal to Morgana Pendragon.

"What do you suggest we do?" She felt lost.

"If I release her now, there will be mass outrage from the public, who are just recovering from their wounds inflicted by her. If I put her up on trial, she will be unequivocally declared guilty. Let her stay locked for a few months. Let people forget her crimes. And after that, I will let her out." 

Gwen still felt unsure, but Arthur continued. "I will make sure she has a more comfortable cell, with a bed and better food. That's all I can do for now, Guinevere. That's all I can give you."

She considered his options and realised there was nothing else they can do.

"Will you promise me one last thing?"

"Anything."

"Will you at least meet her?"

Arthur didn't say anything. He only held her tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or comments if you liked it! :')


	11. Eleven: Arthur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur finally confronts Morgana and tries to come with terms about her repentance.

**Arthur**

His legs seemed too frozen to carry him, yet they kept moving of their own accord. He was sure he was willing them not to. But they kept marching on, one stair at a time. His breath seemed too forced, how has he been doing it his whole life? He willed the stairs to never end, but of course they did. And he was soon in the dungeons. It was silent, except for the voices in Arthur's head, fighting with each other.

_You have known her your whole life._

_She has changed now._

_You can't be sure._

_Why else would she return and give herself up so willingly?_

_She tried to attack me even then._

_You were going to throw her in the dungeon._

_But she killed Father!_

_Only because he would have killed her first, if he knew what she was._

Arthur sighed, defeated. He knew that this was true. He wondered what he would have done if he was born with something that was not his fault, but he was to bear the punishment all the same.

Arthur cleared his throat when he reached Morgana's cell. She looked up at him and then looked away.

"Brother." She almost whispered.

He gestured the guards to open the door and stepped inside.

"Have you come to put a sword to my throat?" She said in a raspy voice.

He looked around. A plate with stale food and a glass of water were lying in a corner. They looked untouched.

"As much as I want to, I won't do that. I mean, I _can't_ do that. Guinevere will strangle me in my sleep." Her mouth twitched on the mention of her ex-servant. "Besides," Arthur continued. "You're already doing a very good job of trying to end your life." He gestured to the untouched food and then picked up the glass of water and handed it to her.

She took it but didn't drink. "If I kill myself here, will you forgive me then?"

"I will have to think about it."

"Always the kind hearted king."

Arthur couldn't help but chuckle. Morgana smiled back at him and for a moment, he forgot that they were in a musty old cell. He could only remember the old days when they used to smile and jest like this all day long.

"What happened to you Morgana?"

Morgana gave a loud sigh. "If one more person asks me that, I am really going to kill myself." She finally put the glass to her lips.

 _Merlin and Gwen,_ Arthur thought.

"Fine. Don't tell me about your past. I want to know about your future. What did you hope to achieve by coming here?"

Morgana looked like she again trying to come up with something witty or snarky but then her expression changed and she threw up her hands in defeat.

"I was alone, okay?" She said fiercely. "After Morgause, I was so lonely. My men, they were only there because they feared me. My maid servants touched me like I was a very dangerous bomb! The druids, I don't think they ever respected me. I had no one and then Merlin came along one day, promising me my old life back and reminding me what I have lost."

"You didn't _lose_ us, Morgana." Arthur said solemnly. "You threw us away."

Morgana looked down. "I know."

They remained still for a moment, Morgana sitting down, with Arthur standing in front of her. She refused to look at him.

Finally, Arthur knelt down. "I am sorry that you could never come to me. I should have protected and defended you against Father."

"He would have never listened to you." Her voice sounded heavy.

"You are right. He would have never listened to me. But I know that he would have listened to _you_. You were too precious to him for him to give you up."

Morgana lifted up her head, hatred in her eyes. "You don't know that!"

"I saw the love he held for you, Morgana. The love he never held for me. I was never good enough to pick up the broken pieces that you left."

She shook her head frantically. "He was a monster!"

Arthur couldn't bring himself to contradict her. "And you were the only one who made him human."

She hardened her eyes. "Fine, Arthur. Let's say he would have spared me my life if he knew of my magic. But tell me this. What would he have done if he ever were to find out about your precious boy? Do you think he would even blink before hanging him up on the streets for all the Camelot to see?"

Arthur sat down. He was at a loss of words. He knew no amount of love that he held for his father can ever repay the countless number of loves he has taken, and will be taking if not for..

"I know it's difficult for you. We spent our whole lives in a wide web of lies, and we only helped spin it deeper." She touched his wrist. "Help me, brother. Help me untangle this. We can bring love and peace back here. I mean,you can bring love and peace back here. My kind has suffered enough."

Arthur nodded slowly. He grew up his whole life hating magic, but now that he was seeing a different side, could he ever blame these people for wanting him and his father dead?

"I understand." 

"As I knew you would. Gwen told me already what you intend to do with me. It's a good plan. What's a few more months?" _Was she being sarcastic?_

"I have no more grudges against you." Arthur said. He got up and raised his sword, bringing it down hard.

 _It was the least he could do for her._ He convinced himself.

*******

_And now for the next difficult part,_ Arthur thought standing in front of Gaius'. He had no idea for how long he has been standing there, without knocking.

He was still a bit shaken after his meeting with Morgana and now he had to confront another sorcerer.

 _Screw it._ He braced himself and walked in. 

The place was almost a mess. He could hear arguing inside.

"You can go!" _Cough_. "I'll be fine."

"They can wait, Merlin. I cannot leave your side again."

"I said, I am fine Gaius. The people of Camelot need you still." Merlin said weakly. Arthur felt a pang of guilt hit him. He had heard rumors that Merlin was ill but he thought they were just that-rumors. He couldn't bring himself to believe that Merlin was still a human.

"What is wrong with him?" He heard himself say, standing at Merlin's doorway. Merlin was lying on the bed covered with blankets, with Gaius sitting by his side, sponging his head with a wet clothe. It has been almost a week since he got out, but he still looked too weak.

Gaius stood up immediately and bowed. "Your Majesty. He has fever from living in the cold cell for so many days." Gaius' eyes weren't accusing. He was simply stating a fact.

Arthur nodded. "Is there somewhere else you need to be?"

"Just some smallfolks catching mild illnesses. It's nothing."

"I will stay with him." Arthur felt the words escape his lips before he could stop them. Merlin looked at him.

"I beg your pardon, Sire?" Gaius said.

"I said I will stay with him. You should go do your duties."

"Forgive me, Arthur, but your duties are bigger than mine."

"Wars can wait, but sickness and death do not. My people need you more. So go."

Gaius looked at Merlin. Merlin looked from Gaius to Arthur then back to Gaius and then gave a small nod. Gaius bowed and left.

Merlin was looking at him again with his piercing blue eyes and Arthur felt very uncomfortable. He knew this was going to be hard. _Very hard._

He sighed and sat down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned to find out what happens between Arthur & Merlin ;)
> 
> Also, I am sorry if this feels like a short chapter. I'll update soon.


	12. Twelve: Merlin and Morgana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur come face to face in a very awkward manner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you guys can understand the timeline. I have not specified when each event happens, but there is usually a leap of few days or weeks between each chapter.  
> If you get confused, be sure to ask ^_^

**Merlin**

Merlin felt a chill run through him. He let out a weak cough. He has been through worse before, but did the stupid dungeon have this effect on him? His limbs felt like four sticks detached from his body, being unable to lift or move them unless with great effort. His throat felt like there was something stuck in it all the time and no matter how many times he coughed, he just couldn't get it out. His head was pounding like hell and on top of that - he is going to have to deal with _Arthur_.

 _Why was he here? Why did he offer to help him?_ Merlin knew that he had missed Arthur terribly. But now there was a wedge between them, his magic. And somehow, Arthur's stone cold silence was much better than whatever this was going to be.

"Your Majesty." Merlin rasped out. He saw Arthur pull up an old chair from the corner of his eye. The chair wobbled as Arthur sat down on it and he caught himself just before falling. In different circumstances, it would have been very funny but now, this was.. _awkward_.

"Merlin." _Oh how he had missed his name on those lips._ "How are you?"

"Sick." Merlin muttered.

"Thank you for pointing that out. I could have never seen it by myself."

Merlin looked at Arthur. _Was there a twinge of the old mischief in those eyes? He had missed that too._

"You were blind to a lot of things before."

"Only because I never expected you to be skilled enough to hide any secrets."

Merlin chuckled weakly.

Arthur pulled his chair closer & picked up the sponge and put it against his forehead. Despite the water being hot, Merlin felt a shiver run down his body.

"I understand if you hate me now." Arthur said quietly.

Merlin shook his head. He won't be able to lie, not when every inch of his body was aware of how close Arthur was to him. "I don't hate you. I mean you are an arrogant, entitled prat who certainly never treats his servants right, but I still can't hate you."

"You might try showing your love a little better then." Arthur dipped the sponge & pressed it on him again.

"Have _you_ forgiven me?"

"If I had not forgiven you, there would be a sword on your neck, instead of this.. _rag_ on your head." 

"Does that mean you have forgiven Morgana too? Because I don't see her head out there."

Arthur kept the sponge back in the water dish. "I don't want to talk about her right now."

"What about Gwen, then? Does she still hate me?"

"She doesn't hate you. She is learning to accept you. Just like me." Arthur paused, then asked. "Will you give us another chance?" 

His voice was small and his eyes were pleading. And _he still expects me to hate him?_ Merlin cursed himself for forgiving him so easily but he wasn't surprised at his own stupidity. He nodded. "I understand why you did it. It couldn't have been easy for you to forgive me either." 

"I still could have reacted better when I found out." 

They stayed quiet for a while, the only sound in the room was of the sponge being dipped into the water and then being slapped on his head. The air still seemed heavy between them. Merlin fished around his head for something to say, anything to _not_ listen to this terrible silence.

"You were serious when you said that you want me to help you protect this kingdom?" He finally said.

"I mean, it's not a new job for you, is it? That is what you have been doing since the day you came here."

Merlin let out a smile. There was a hint of respect in Arthur's voice.

"Do I still have to be your servant?"

"I fired you when you went on leave for a month."

"Oh it was a very nice vacation. The bed was so soft and the food- it tasted so good especially after the rats had their turn on it. And I got to relax more than I ever could in your service." Merlin hoped his tone suggested jest and not accusations. Their relationship was still fragile. Then, Arthur's mouth twitched and Merlin relaxed.

"There is one more thing. When I came to visit you on your," Arthur tilted his head, " _vacation_ , you said something. When I asked you if the reason you served me so.. _selflessly_ was because of destiny or was there something else."

Merlin froze. He knew where this was going. "Go on."

"And you said, that I know it. This other reason. But I don't. I have racked my head over and over again and I just don't understand what you meant."

Merlin met Arthur's eyes and held them for a long time, neither of them moving, Arthur's hand on his forehead, the sponge a grateful barrier between them.

"I think you know it, Arthur. You just don't want to admit it, even to yourself."

"Why can't you just tell me?" Arthur said, frustrated, throwing the sponge in the water dish, splashing a few drops over Merlin's face and his own thigh.

"You won't understand."

"Then make me." He was almost sitting on the edge of his chair, his knees digging in the thin mattress.

"No. You won't understand until you realize it yourself." _Until you realize how much I am in love with you._

Arthur opened his mouth but then closed it again. He didn't argue further. He muttered a small " _fine_ " and sat back.

All this talking had left Merlin weak and he shivered again as he pulled his blankets closer to him. He wanted Arthur to go away now. He wanted Gaius back. In all honesty, lying down in the bed with no duties, no one puting him on pedestal was easy. He had even debated with himself about leaving Camelot forever, going back to Ealdor, but then his King's face used to appear in his mind and he would lose the battle against himself.

His love for Arthur has always come for a price. He always knew that it won't be easy, yet he had still allowed himself to fall for the stupid prat. _Love was supposed to make you feel warm, but why did he feel so cold right now?_

And then, he slowly felt warmth spreading in his body. There was something on his forehead, but this time, there was no barrier. Just skin against skin. _Forehead against forehead._ He stopped shivering altogether when he felt an even bigger shock as a hand slip inside the blanket and gently entangled his fingers with his. 

_Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Arthur Pendragon can be warm when he tried._

They stayed like that for a long time. Not talking, just listening to the rythm of each other's breaths and feeling their skin on each other. They were silent, but the air between them no longer felt awkward. It felt like- _healing_.

**Morgana**

"Why? You had a chance and you let it go. Why, Morgana?"

Morgana's head was spinning. The food barely did anything to put some life back in her. She could easily count her ribs just by touching her torso. The bed here was better but her back still pained from sleeping on the ground since so many days. This cell was larger and at least had a window. Only three people were allowed to see her- Arthur, Gwen and Agravaine. Unfortunately, her least favourite of the three was here.

"If I am to win Arthur's forgiveness and trust, I can barely do that by giving a testament against his favourite boy."

"And look what your _forgiveness_ has done!" Agravaine spat. "That boy is out and about and will be in our courts soon enough while you still rot here? Where is that forgiveness?"

Morgana felt like smashing her head against a wall just to stop it from pounding continuously. Her uncle did little to help.

"Arthur and I have a deal. He doesn't want me to go to court to save me from the wrath of his people."

"Lies and more lies! He doesn't hold any love for you, nor you for him, I know that."

Morgana thought. She had hated Arthur for a while, a lot, too. But now, things have to change. They can't keep playing this game forever- of hiding behind the shadows, trying to kill each other. True, when he had raised his sword, she was scared he was going to strike it down on her head but instead, she felt the chains fall down on the ground and her hands were finally free. She realized it was a gesture- _I remove the chains that hold your magic, that means I trust you enough to handle it well._ Their eyes had met and in them, she had finally seen a forgiving glance. That was enough, for now.

"Morgana, hear me out." Agravaine put a hand on her shoulder, but she flinched. He removed it immediately. "Your magic is no longer contained. Blast yourself out of this cell. Kill Arthur!"

_Was was every single one of her kin so dumb?_

"I barely have the energy to stand up. Let alone to take over Camelot."

Agravaine gave out a frustrated groan. "Why did you give up so easily?"

"There's nothing left in hate, Uncle. Love, now that's the real weapon. Love wins wars."

**A few weeks later**

**Merlin**

Merlin nervously buttoned his new shirt. His hand seemed to be slipping even more than usual, even though he was definitely healthier now. His fever was subsided and he was finally gaining strength in his body.

He had dressed Arthur a million times, but why can't he dress himself today? Part of the reason could be that he felt uncomfortable in the silk shirt and the tight breaches that Gaius had brought for him forcibly to wear it on his job. He looked at the red coat lying on the bed, waiting to be put on. Merlin sighed, _screw this._

Ten minutes later, he walked into the court confidently, to take his place on the round table for the first time. A few councilmen wrinkled their noses at him, seeing his attire, but Leon and Elyan smiled at him and Gwaine openly patted him on his back as he walked past him. He was wearing his blue shirt with a red neckerchief and a brown jacket. He sat down beside his King, feeling very comfortable in his skin.

"Let's begin." Arthur said.


	13. Thirteen: Gwen and Arthur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur debates with his subjects whether Morgana should be released or not.

**A few months later**

**Guinevere**

Gwen shifted on the bed sleepily, the sun rays shining in her eyes. She looked at the blonde beside her, who was already awake. He smiled lazily at her. His eyes reminded her too much of someone.. _Morgana_.

She was wide awake suddenly. _The day was here._ "Are you sure we are ready for this?"

"It's been six months. People have started forgetting about her.. treacheries."

She caressed Arthur's chest. "I am glad you are finally taking this step."

"It's about time, don't you think?"

Gwen nodded and put her arms around his bare torso. _This was nice._ The nights that they slept together, she didn't miss _someone_ that much. He only filled a void in her life, as, she suspected she was filling in his.

"You seem happy this morning." He whispered in her forehead.

"It will be like the old days again, won't it? The four of us, friends again."

"I take it that Merlin has forgiven you then?"

"We sat and talked for a long time. Now we are completely over it."

She remembered how difficult it was to walk around in the palace and avoiding Merlin's eyes. They both steered clear of each other as much as they could, but one day Gwen had it enough. She confronted Merlin and made him sit and listen to her apologies for not standing up for him when he needed her and in turn he apologized for never trusting her with his secret. After that, it was water under the bridge.

"I guess he didn't want to anger his King's fiancé."

"Well he certainly doesn't care about angering his King."

Arthur's chest vibrated with laughter and Gwen with it. But then the ring in her finger shone in the sunlight and all laughter was gone from her. Arthur had proposed marraige a few days before and she had accepted and she didn't know why. To be honest, she _was_ very surprised when Arthur had proposed. They loved each other, but they certainly were not _in_ love with each other.

"You visit her a lot, don't you?"

"Yes." Gwen whispered. She wondered how he would react if she told her she had kissed his sister. She also spent a lot of time in her cell, but they only talked, never touched each other again.

"She was always very special to you." Arthur said matter-of-factly.

"In a way few understand." Arthur took a sharp breath at her words.

"I will let her know that she only has you to thank for her freedom."

"I suppose she already knows." And can't wait to show me as soon as she gets out. Gwen smiled again and snuggled against his chest.

**Arthur**

"You sure you are ready to do this?"

Arthur shook his head in exasperation, hearing the same question the second time this morning. But the first question was filled with hope, this one with dread.

"I don't want to talk about it." Arthur looked over at Merlin sitting on the edge of his bed. It was weird seeing him here doing normal things like just sitting or standing and not wiping the floors or dusting the table, even though Merlin was here all the time. Arthur was still used to Merlin doing everything for him. Ordering George around was no fun when he was ready to do everything so willingly. Literally everything. But Arthur still never let him dress him or see him naked. He had learned how to dress himself, _finally_. Merlin should be proud.

"Where's George?" Merlin asked, changing the topic.

"Around."

"Around where?"

"I don't know, Merlin. Somewhere, doing something. I don't care."

"Isn't he supposed to be dressing his King?" Merlin asked, looking at Arthur putting his buttons on his shirt. _Damn him._

Arthur cleared his throat. "I can do small things by myself."

"You really have changed, haven't you?"

"No ,I just can't tolerate the lad in here all the time. He can drain all the energy out of any room."

"I will return if you double my salary. Working for you was easier than politics and that's saying something."

"I am not paying you a dime. At least I don't have to hear your useless chatter all day."

"And at least you used to let me touch you."

Arthur didn't say anything. Merlin always managed to catch him off-guard.

"All these months and you still haven't learned." Merlin walked over to him.

Arthur looked at him questioningly and Merlin gestured down to where Arthur was struggling with his buttons.

"I know how to do it." He said in an indignant voice. The truth was that today, he didn't know how to do anything. He was too damn nervous about the court and what will happen.

Determined to show Merlin he knew what he was doing, he tried to push a button in with a rather large force and it broke off. He sighed.

"Here, let me." Merlin said, rather kindly. He picked up the button and summoned a thread and needle with his eyes. He started sewing it back on.

"You can do that with magic too."

"I am not that good at it. I can prick you- wait, on second thoughts that sounds like a good idea."

Arthur whooped him on the head lightly. Merlin's fingers were brushing over his chest behind which his heart was beating very loudly. If Merlin heard it, he showed no indication of it. The last time they had felt each other's skin was when Merlin was sick and Arthur went to take care of him. It was too intimate and Arthur hadn't returned to visit him in his sickbed again. After that, while they jested and played with each other like the old times, they also maintained an unsaid, polite distance between themselves.

His head was already filled with too many thoughts, but the memory of Merlin telling him that he wouldn't understand something that day and the memory of Gwen talking about how no one understands what Morgana is to her just made it spin even more. He had asked himself so many times what he was not able to see. The problem was that he was trying to look for the answer in him and Merlin, when the answer was in Gwen and Morgana all along.

"It's done." Merlin's voice almost made Arthur jump. Neither of them backed off though, Merlin's hand still holding the thread and needle between his and Arthur's chest, their eyes connected by an invisible bridge.

It was so simple, all this time. The answer was in Merlin's eyes and his lips. His lips, so close to Arthur's, just waiting to be held, to be kissed. _So close.._

**Knock! Knock!**

"Enter."

"It's time for the session, Sire." Sir Leon said.

Arthur looked at Merlin, stepping behind, the moment gone. _So far.._

*******

He stood in front of his throne, the whole court in front of him. His councilmen on one side, his knights on the other. Merlin and Gwen were huddled in the corner, standing next to each other, their eyes pinned on Arthur. _Hope and dread._

Arthur cleared his throat. "You all have been summoned here today, because I have an announcement to make." He paused. "I have come to the realization that the Lady Morgana has been punished enough. She has been enslaved since a year,not been allowed any visitors except a choice few and to our best knowledge, has made no attempts to sabotage this kingdom since." Sir Leon and the other knights looked puzzled. He looked at Gwen, who nodded enthusiastically. "I have decided to release the Lady from her captivity."

A murmur went through the court. The knights and the servants looked particularly angry.

"Calm down." The hall went quite. "If anyone has an objection, speak one by one."

"Sire." Leon was the first one to step up. "Pardon me but she has done nothing but harm this kingdom and you in the past. She certainly deserves a longer punishment."

"You have known her your whole life too, Sir Leon. Do you not remember any of her goodness anymore?"

"I remember, My Lord. What I also remember is a woman who imprisoned my comrades and killed off innocent people in front of my very eyes."

"I know that she has done a lot of wrongs in her life. Many of which still cannot be justified. But she is willing to repent and amend her sins. Do you not agree that everyone deserves a second chance?"

"My father didn't get one!" Elyan shouted, looking angry.

Arthur looked at Gwen. There were tears in her eyes. He felt sad inside. Their father was not his mistake but at the same time, he was. Morgana was his too.

"I am deeply sorry about your father, Elyan. He was an honest man and he will always be remembered. But tell me, how many lives have been ruined by our quest of hate? You can blame my father or the guards or me for your father's death, but at the end of the day, the only thing that killed him was hate.

"I have made many a mistakes in my life, blinded by this hate. I am not make any more. Let us run a kingdom not built on revenge and punishment, but on love and forgiveness." He didn't know how those words had come to him, but they seemed to work. Elyan's eyes were softening and Sir Leon seemed to be thinking hard. The servants were nodding along him.

"The only forgiveness she deserves is a noose around her head." Gwaine said angrily. Another round of whispers passed in the hall, which seemed to be agreeing to Gwaine. Arthur almost let out a curse. All his soppy words and _poetry_ \- were going to be undone.

"If I may, My Lord." Agravaine said. Arthur had half a mind to dismiss him on some pretense, because for some reason, he was always getting on his nerves. But before he could open his mouth, his Uncle was already speaking. "The Lady is of royal blood. Putting her in iron was already a big stain on the Pendragon name."

"Thank you Uncle." Arthur said. The first time he had opened his mouth to say something useful. "That was very insightful-"

"Her killing off her own father looks like a bigger stain, one would think!" Percival cut him off.

"I will not let a commoner teach us about royal blood." Agravaine spat out.

"Enough!" Arthur was not going to let him insult his men. "No blood is purer than others, I hope you will remember that, Uncle." Agravaine looked like he would argue but one look from Arthur and he was bowing and stepping back, abashed.

"The past is past!" Arthur continued. "Morgana has been held accountable for her mistakes. I will not hold that against her for her whole life."

"But, Sire-" Sir Leon said. "How are we to know that she will not do this again? That she has truly changed?"

Arthur was saved the trouble of answering by Gwen. "She truly has changed." She looked at Arthur nervously. He nodded. "His Majesty took the magic restraining chains off her months ago to truly test her. She has not attempted anything even then."

Another round of murmurs.

"Besides," Gwen continued admidst the talks. Everyone got quite. She will make a good Queen, Arthur thought. "We have a Sorcerer of our own, who is more powerful than ten Lady Morganas."

Merlin looked shy but he spoke confidently. "She will be my responsibility. I will keep my eye on her constantly and make sure she doesn't use her magic for any evil." Arthur mouthed a small _thankyou_ to him. Merlin nodded.

"Is there anyone else who objects?" Arthur asked, smiling. The two of the most beloved people in the Court had spoken. The case was already decided. No one spoke up.

"That will be all then. Uncle, you will see to it that Lady Morgana will be released and provided adequate chambers with servants. Merlin, with me."

He walked out, dismissing the court, Merlin behind him. After many, many months, he finally felt that a heavy force has been lifted off his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally, she's getting out too :D  
> Be ready for more ;)


	14. Fourteen: Merlin and Arthur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur finally understands how Merlin feels towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is!! The one thing we've all been waiting for :D

**Merlin**

Merlin walked past the courtiers and the knights in the hall, following his King. He got some dirty looks from some of the councilmen including Agravaine(as usual) but he ignored them. He knew that even though magic was now legal in Camelot, there were still many who were prejudiced against it, mostly the ones who were still loyal to Uther and constantly berated Arthur over his decision. But Merlin didn't care. They only had empty words and fake allegations. Arthur valued his counsel more than anyone and the Druids were also allowed to live freely now. That was enough for now.

His relationship with Arthur had improved over the past year. They freely bantered with each other like the old times but also trusted each other the most. A year ago, Merlin would have never thought it all possible. Even now, he sometimes believed that he was living a dream.

But the dream might come to an end, because Morgana was coming out. It was true that he had given his word in court in her favor but it was only a payback, for her testimony during his trial. Besides, Arthur and Gwen would have killed him if he hadn't spoken up. He hadn't seen Morgana since his own trial, he was too ashamed to look her in the eyes. But now that she was going to be here all the time, it will be a lot more difficult to avoid her.

"Why did you summon me?" Merlin said when they reached Arthur's chambers. He was feeling a bit nervous, given what had almost happened between them this morning.

Arthur didn't say anything as he pushed open the doors and stepped inside. Merlin followed. He wondered whether he would mention what happened or ask him to maintain a distance or _maybe.._

_No.He shouldn't get his hopes up._

Arthur turned around to look at him. "There's something."

"What _thing_?"

"It's just.."

Merlin waited.

"I don't know how to say this.." Arthur rubbed his eyebrows in frustration.

"Say what?" Merlin asked, annoyed.

Arthur took a deep breath and looked at Merlin. "All these months.."

Merlin raised his eyebrows.

"I have been wondering and I finally figured it out."

"Figured _what_ out?" He snapped.

Arthur just laughed and walked away, towards his window.

Merlin was concerned. "Have you taken leave of your senses?" He followed him.

Arthur grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him gently. "Oh Merlin! You _bumpkin_! How could I have been so stupid?"

"I have tried to find the answer of that question but I can never reach a conclusion. Could be because you were dropped on the head as a baby or fell off a horse.." Merlin trailed off. Arthur didn't seem to be listening to him.

"My question, Merlin! My _question_!"

Merlin stared at him.

"When I asked you all those months ago why you wanted to dedicate your whole life to me? And you said that I will understand one day."

Merlin stilled. He wasn't ready to hear the answer. _Not yet_.

"Something Gwen said today. About why she could never let Morgana go. She told me I wouldn't understand. But I do, Merlin. I understand all of it!" Arthur's eyes were wide with excitement.

"What did you understand?" Merlin murmured.

" _Y-you_.." Arthur cleared his throat. " _You are in love with me._ You have _always_ been in love with me."

Merlin felt like the air in the room was beginning to thin itself. His opened his mouth to suck in as much air as he could but it wasn't enough. He yanked Arthur's hands from his shoulder and walked away, coming to lean on the table.

"You have no right. No right to bring this up now!" He spat out.

"I am sorry." Arthur's voice came from behind him. "I couldn't understand earlier." The last time Arthur had been this close to him was some months back when Merlin was sick. He had taken his hand in his and rested his forehead on him. After that, they never talked about it, both of them refusing to acknowledge that it ever happened. But now, that tension was back in the air.

Merlin shook his head frantically. His knees trembled. Arthur grabbed his elbow and said, "Look at me, please."

"Will you hate me again?" He said, without looking back, his voice breaking. He felt ashamed of himself.

"No, Merlin. Never again. Just look at me."

Arthur was all over him. His voice, his touch, his essence. _It was too much, too much.._

Merlin turned around and looked at Arthur. Their was barely a hair's breadth distance between them. Their eyes refused to move away from each other. He could shift an inch and his lips would be on Arthur's. They stood like that for long, neither of them moving. Neither of them moving away or closer.

A distant footstep outside in the corridor made Merlin come back to his senses. _What was he doing?_

He wanted to step back but he was pressed against the table. He shifted his feet sideways to move away but Arthur wrapped his arms around his waist and held him there. "Don't go. _Please_." He whispered.

They were so close that Merlin could feel his breath on his own face. Arthur suddenly leaned forward but Merlin was quicker. He turned his own face away. He wondered why he pulled away. _He wanted this, didn't he?_ He faced Arthur again, this time willing to close the distance but it was Arthur's turn to be scared. He pulled back.

The pattern continued. Their lips danced around each other, desiring each other and at the same time too afraid to _achieve_.

They finally met halfway, both of them taking the bold step this time. Merlin didn't hold back. He kissed him hard, harder than he had ever intended to. But he didn't care. He wanted Arthur. _He wanted him in every way possible._

He wasn't sure why Arthur was letting him do this, letting him put his lips and hands on his face and neck, leaving marks all over. But he was doing it. And Arthur was doing it too. They both were trying to claim each other. Trying to _devour_ each other.

Before he knew it, they were on the bed, frantically tearing off each other's clothes, biting and sucking everywhere.

They were _everywhere_ and _nowhere_. Once Arthur was on top of him, pining him down to the bed with his weight and the next moment, Merlin was on Arthur's lap, feeling him everywhere. They were _here_ and _there_. The earth and the heaven had no bridges left between them. _They were colliding, just like Merlin and Arthur, to become one._

**Arthur**

_This is nice_. Arthur thought. _And peaceful_.

  
They were lying on the bed with Merlin's head resting under his chin. He was so skinny that Arthur could barely feel his weight on top of him. But he could feel every inch of Merlin's skin touching his. He was so soft against his hard edges. They fit in perfectly together.

They were both naked, their clothes lying here and there on the floor and on the bed somewhere. They were too lazy to get them and besides, they wanted no barrier between them right now.

As if reading his mind about _barriers_ , Merlin suddenly blurted out "Gwen!"

"What about her?" Arthur asked.

" _What about her_? She's your fiancée, you clotpole!" Merlin spoke against his chest.

"Merlin." Arthur said softly. "It will be okay." The sheets were sticky under them and the room smelled of sweat and sex. It was so intoxicating.

"But she- what we did was wrong!" Merlin lifted himself on his elbows and looked at Arthur, his blue eyes filled with guilt and remorse.

Arthur took his face in his hands and said, "She wouldn't mind. I used to think that she would, but as I said, now I _understand_. She wouldn't mind."

" _Why_ wouldn't she mind her future husband sleeping with another man?" Merlin widened his eyes.

"Just- believe me. Okay?"

"She's my friend too." Merlin said, adamant.

Arthur sighed. "We were wrong to ever assume that the love between us was anything more than friendship." _This was the first time he was admitting this to someone._

"But you're getting married."

"Merlin. I don't want to think about Gwen right now. I want you, only you. So will you come back here please?"

For a moment, it looked like Merlin would refuse but then he was on his lap, their lips meeting again. Arthur's hands roamed all over him, pulling him closer and closer to consume him whole.

_This is what happiness tastes like._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how to write m/m smut well so this is the best I could do :/
> 
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed it!


	15. Fifteen: Guinevere and Morgana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana is finally free and she and Gwen find each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a parallel to the previous chapter

**Guinevere**

Gwen paced back and forth excitedly. She walked around the room again, to make sure everything was in place. The cushions were straight, the sheets crisp, the table at the right alignment, everything okay.

 _The bath_ , Gwen thought. Morgana might need a good bath. She must heat up the water. She wasn't surprised that she still remembered the exact temperature at which Morgana likes her bath.

She had cleaned the room herself. After Morgana left with Morgause, her room had been empty. No one wanted to live in the "traitor's" chambers. Gwen sometimes used to come here, when she missed her too much, but it didn't feel like her. It just felt empty. .

She breathed in. The room didn't smell like her, but it will soon. _Her friend was finally coming back._ She waited.

*******

Gwen didn't realize that she was dozing off on a chair when someone gently shook her awake.

"This is a warm welcome." A small voice said.

Gwen squinted her eyes. Black hair came in her vision. She squealed standing up and hugged Morgana tightly. They both laughed in each other's arms.

"Is this warm enough for you?" Gwen asked, pulling herself off Morgana after what seemed like an eternity.

It was months after which she was seeing Morgana in proper light. There were heavy circles beneath her eyes and her face didn't seem to hold any fat. Her collarbone and shoulders were sticking out. She was pale but still beautiful. So beautiful.

"I should change." Morgana said, looking down at her torn clothes.

"You should bath first." Gwen teasingly scrunched up her nose, making Morgana laugh.

"Right." She looked around. "So is there a servant or am I to do everything by myself from now on?"

"I have prepared a bath for you and laid out your garbs."

Morgana hesitated. "Gwen, you don't have to do this for me. I don't want you to serve me. I want you to be my friend."

"I _am_ being your friend right now."

Morgana looked at her peculiarly but then moved towards her bathroom. She started struggling with her gown to take it off but her bony wrists seemed useless.

Gwen sighed. "Let me." She grabbed the chain on the back and pulled it down.

"I can manage this." She said weakly.

"Sure you can." Gwen muttered, taking her gown off her shoulders. Morgana didn't protest.

Her long back, adorned with little freckles came into view, and Gwen took in a sharp breath. _How she had missed this._

Morgana seemed every bit of aware of Gwen staring at her because her feet were slowly shuffling back, closer to Gwen. Soon her small clothes were off and Gwen took a long last look before turning her towards herself. "Get in." She pointed to the bathtub.

She obliged and stepped in. She settled herself in the water and sat against the tub. Gwen took a few drops of water on her hands and splashed it on Morgana's face. She flinched, smiling. This used to be their little game, playing with the water whenever Morgana was bathing. She plunged her hands inside and soon Gwen's face was also adorned with the droplets.

Gwen picked up a sponge and knelt down besides Morgana. She put it against Morgana's shoulder, rubbing gently, but she pulled away.

"Arthur cannot even spare me a servant. He's letting his betrothed do this." She said indignantly.

"Arthur can spare many servants. It's just, I know that you don't want any of them touching you right now."

Morgana closed her eyes, defeated. "You _still_ don't have to do this."

"I _don't_ mind, Morgana."

"Get in."

"What?"

"I said, get in. We can do this together."

Gwen wasn't sure what to do. As much as she wanted to get in a bathtub with a very naked Morgana, she couldn't stop thinking about Arthur. It was true that she wasn't head over heals in love with him or that she never told him about the kiss between her and Morgana which happened a few months back, but she did care for him. She didn't want to hurt him.

Apparently, Morgana read her thoughts. "Look it's just two friends having a bath together, all right? All girlfriends do it."

Gwen still wasn't sure. Morgana spoke again. "I won't try anything with you, I promise. I love him as much as you do."

It wasn't that she didn't trust Morgana, it was that she didn't trust _herself_. But she didn't argue anymore and started undoing the laces of her dress.

She was soon naked in front of Morgana. She felt a bit ashamed and covered herself with her arms. She has seen Morgana naked a thousand times, but Morgana rarely ever saw her like that. When they used to sleep together, they did so in the dark of the night and under the sheets. In morning, Gwen usually slipped away before Morgana woke up.

Morgana took hold of her arm and gently pulled it away from her body. "Don't." She whispered, again somehow knowing exactly what was going through Gwen's head.

Gwen nodded and stepped inside, sitting in front of the Lady. Morgana took the sponge and started rubbing it up and down her neck. It was soft against her skin and Gwen felt a calm inside. She closed her eyes, wanting to feel nothing else.  
When Morgana's hand slid below, over her chest, Gwen suddenly felt arousal take over her body. She jolted her eyes open and practically grabbed the sponge from her hand.

"Um, let me." She said quickly. Morgana looked a bit hurt, apparently thinking that Gwen didn't trust her.

It was Gwen's turn to feel Morgana's skin as the sponge moved over her neck and then to her chest. Her hands hovered over her breasts a bit longer, not wanting to move away, but then she scolded herself and moved down. Her stomach was almost sucked in.

"Did you forgot to eat in prison?"

"The food was bad."

"Nonsense! I made sure that you were getting food from the royal kitchen."

"Look, Gwen. It's not that. Prison has that effect on you. I stayed inside day in and day out with nowhere to go. It took a toll on me. No matter how much I ate, it never reached my body."

Gwen gave her a sympathetic look. "I will make sure I feed you properly now. Food will start reaching you now that you are out."

Morgana smiled. "Just get some of Arthur's servants to do it."

"This is not a servant's job. It's a friend's." Gwen laid special emphasis on the word so that Morgana would get it inside her head. "You have become too humble , _My Lady._ "

"Prison has that effect on you too."

Gwen continued washing Morgana's stomach, again hovering there, because she was afraid to move down. Towards the tuft of hair between her legs.

"I don't have much of a belly left. Please don't rub off the bit I do have."

Gwen laughed forcefully and finally moved down. She massaged her outer thighs and when she realized that she can't delay any longer, she said, "Open up."

Morgana shifted apart her legs, allowing Gwen to clean her inner thighs. As she was moving the spong up and down, her knuckles kept brushing against the soft hair. This was hard, _too hard_. She looked up at Morgana, whose eyes were closed and her chest was heaving up and down. Gwen didn't even realize she had dropped the sponge. Her hands were between her thighs, nuzzling them and they kept moving upwards. If Morgana knew what was happening, she didn't protest.

Gwen's fingers soon reached on Morgana's outer lips and she wondered when she started to pull them apart, Morgana grabbed her wrists tightly, her eyes flying open. She spoke a single word. "Arthur."

Gwen didn't know why she was thinking about her brother in this intimate moment, but she didn't want to ponder into that.

Technically, she was right. Gwen had no right to do this to Arthur. _Will he forgive her for cheating on him twice?_ The first time was a mistake, or was it? She didn't know why she had kissed Lancelot, Arthur was hurt and she hated herself but she could never bring herself to admitting that it was a mistake. _It felt so right._ Even now whenever she thought of Lancelot, it never left her with any bitter feelings. Their union was wrong, but their love always felt right.

As to Morgana, what would Arthur do if he found out? It had been so hard to convince him to trust his sister again. _Will he forgive both of them for the second time?_ She definitely didn't want to go through all that again. It was hard watching Arthur struggle between respecting his own principles and trusting Morgana and Merlin-

 _Merlin.._ Gwen thought. She suddenly had flashes in her head. _Arthur glancing at Merlin after every few minutes during the Round Table meetings. Arthur constantly talking about how annoying Merlin is. Arthur trying to do anything to find his servant when he was lost_. She couldn't remember the last time they had a conversation, without Merlin being brought up one way or the other. _How could she have been so blind?_

"Gwen?" Morgana asked, concerned. "You still here?"

Gwen thought of all the things she had given up for this kingdom, for Arthur. Father, Lancelot, everyone gone. But Morgana was back. Morgana was here. She won't sacrifice her too.

"What Arthur does not know," she said, her lips touching Morgana's, her fingers pushing inside. "will not hurt him."

**Morgana**

"We should do this more often."

"I like this." Gwen said softly, her fingers drawing patterns in the bathtub.

"If we stay here forever, do you think they will find us?"

"You are the King's sister and I am his betrothed. They will go ballistic searching for us."

Gwen was sitting with her back against her chest. Morgana's back was painfully pressed against the bathtub but she didn't mind. When Gwen was in her arms, she didn't mind anything.

"I could lock the door forever."

"We might need food."

"I can get that too."

"And water too. I am not going to drink this water." Gwen said, plunging her hand into the bath water.

"And water too."

Morgana rubbed circles on Gwen's breasts. She could feel her heart thumping beneath her hands. She could feel every rise and fall of Gwen's body with every breath she took. She breathed it in. _All of it._

"We should go."

"You were always so scared."

"More like, _practical_." She said, turning around to face Morgana.

Morgana shook her head. "You will be back, right?"

Gwen leaned in and kissed her full on the lips. "Where else will I go?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!


	16. Sixteen: Morgana and Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana and Arthur finally put aside their differences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Merthur smut crammed in here *.*

**Morgana**

Her days and nights here didn't feel much different from her time in the cell. She felt like she didn't have much to do here either. True the servants here treated her a lot better than in the dungeon, where they only used to throw the food in her face and left. They were still aloof though. 

Morgana tried to make small talk to them every once in a while but they mostly muttered incoherent things and ran away. But she didn't care. Even before, the only real friend she had here was Gwen. In a way, she is the only one who gets her.

And Gwen tried to spend as much time here without anyone getting too suspicious.

"Have you talked to Arthur yet?" Morgana had asked her once when they were tired out from a particularly passionate time together.

"No."

"When _will_ you?"

"I will someday. Don't you worry about it."

"I just don't want him to hate me again."

"Listen, if he ever finds out from someone other than me, then I will tell him that it's not your fault. I will tell him that you thought he already knew about us, all right?"

"I can't let you take the fall alone."

"I won't fall. Arthur won't let me, I promise."

Morgana had opened her mouth to argue, but Gwen had kissed her right then, drowning out any argument.

That was two nights ago. Gwen hadn't visited her since. Morgana sometimes took a walk outside, watching Arthur train with his knights from afar or she sometimes visited the city in a disguise, trying to know what they were saying about her.  
She wondered whether she will feel so alone and purposeless her whole life.

 _No, she cannot let that get to her._ Her time in the cell had taken a toll on her but now that she was out, she would not let herself be in a cage again.

 _Arthur_ , she thought as she got out of her bed. He barely acknowledged her presence and she tried to avoid him as much as possible but they cannot keep walking around eggshells forever. They should talk. Sooner rather than later.

She started getting ready. _It was a new day._

**Merlin**

"Wake up!"

"Mm..no."

"What do you mean by no? Wake up!"

"A few minutes more." Arthur murmured groggily.

"The sun is up!"

 _Silence_.

"Anyone can walk in."

 _Silence_.

Merlin rubbed his hand on Arthur's face. Arthur slapped his hand away.

"You're still so annoying, Merlin!" He said.

"I wonder how George wakes you up. 'Milord wake up. The realm requires our good king. Wake up milord, let me wash your feet.' "

"If you washed my feet Merlin," Arthur threw a pillow at him, "maybe I'd wake up happier."

"My job is to wake you up. Not assure your happiness, My Lord."

Arthur was on top of him. "You want me to show you what _happiness_ feels like?" He thrust his hips towards Merlin, making him feel his hardness.

Merlin moaned. Arthur leaned down to kiss him. This was mostly their morning ritual. Every night, Merlin sneaked into Arthur's room and he stayed till morning. Arthur had relieved his servant of most of his duties and the only reason he ever entered this chamber was to clean it or bring his Master his food. If the rest of the castle found it weird, they didn't care. Let them talk.

"There's- _ah!_ \- no time for this."

"Stop being such a maiden, _Mer_ lin." Arthur said from in between kisses.

"You know very well.. _mm_.. that we can get caught."

Having Arthur's mouth all over him felt so good and Merlin wondered whether they should just stay in bed all day, with each other, kissing and f-

**Knock! Knock!**

Arthur sat up hurriedly. "Who is it?"

"The Lady Morgana is here to see you, Sire."

Merlin looked at Arthur with wide eyes who's expression mirrored his own shock. _Why was she here? At this time?_

"Um, let her in." Arthur said after a moment. He looked like he regretted those words as soon as he said it.

"What the hell?" Merlin whispered fiercely.

Arthur shrugged, unable to move.

They heard the doors open and Merlin immediately sprang into action. He pushed Arthur off himself, jumped off the bed and slid below it. He saw the edge of Morgana's dress coming near them just before he slid all in.  
He tried to keep himself as still as possible.

"Brother."

"Morgana." Arthur's voice was too low.

"Have I come at a bad time?"

Merlin almost winced, but managed to stop himself. He thought about the sight that must have met Morgana eyes. The sheets all ruffled, two pillows on the bed, Arthur shirtless with his lips swollen and the _scent_.. The scent was still too strong.

"No. Of course not."

He heard the bed creak as Arthur got off it. For some minutes, the only sound was of Arthur's footsteps, no doubt finding his shirt. Merlin prayed that his own shirt and neckerchief were not in plain sight. He cursed himself for sleeping half naked with Arthur but at the same time he was grateful that he was only _half_ naked. The cold floor was already taking a toll on his back.

"Take a seat."

_Footsteps._

"What can I help you with?" Arthur said.

His voice was coming from a distance now, no doubt by sitting on the chairs which were far from the bed. Merlin knew that Arthur wanted to take his sister away from the proof of their sins. She was too perceptive.

"I needed to see you. To talk to you."

"I am all ears."

"It's just.. I don't know how to say this."

"Morgana." Arthur's voice was tender. "It's me. You can tell me anything."

"You have done so much for me Arthur. Even when I didn't deserve this, you didn't give up on me. You have saved me."

"You have never said so many nice things to me ever before."

Morgana laughed. "It _does_ feel off."

Merlin felt slightly horrified at the thought of Arthur and Morgana coming back on good terms. _But then,_ he wondered _, what right does he have to shit on Arthur's happiness again?_

"I feel weird asking this but I need to know."

"Need to know what?"

There was silence in the room. Merlin wondered where Morgana was going to come clean about her and Gwen. Arthur had told him all about how he had always suspected the those two were more than friends and that the love between them was still strong.

"What do you plan to do with me?" Morgana said.

"Excuse me?" His tone suggested that this was the last question he expected to hear. 

"I mean, do you want me to be here for the rest of my days, just slagging off in this castle? Or do you want to marry me to some Prince so that you can gain his kingdom or is there something else.. Just tell me, okay? It's been weeks since I've been out and it still feels like I am a prisoner here!"

"Morgana. I am not going to sell you off like cattle. I am not my father."

Merlin knew how much painful it was for Arthur to admit how different he was from Uther but he had finally realized it, after months of Merlin trying to ingrain this in him.

"I know you are not." Morgana said kindly. "But I can't sit here and wait."

"Wait for what?"

"For you to truly forgive me."

"Morgana you know I have-"

"No, Arthur. Whatever you did was because Gwen asked you to do it. If you had your way you would have me in dungeons forever."

Arthur didn't contradict her. "I would have given in eventually."

"Maybe you would. Maybe you wouldn't. Who knows? But you _made_ this decision. You _pardoned_ me in front of your whole kingdom. Yet you barely ever look at me or speak two words to me! I need you to pardon me _here_. Where no one else has eyes on us. So I know that you are being true!" 

Merlin shifted uncomfortably on his back.

"Morgana I-"

"Please."

Such a simple word and yet so powerful.

"You are my sister. I never should have hated you in the first place."

Merlin heard a commotion of feet and chairs creaking and then the chambers were filled with Morgana's muffled sobs. She was crying in Arthur's chest.

"I am so sorry." Morgana said, her voice thick with tears.

"No more of that."

"I love you."

There was silence as Merlin held his breath, along with Arthur and Morgana and then, _"I love you too."_ The words were so soft, barely audible, but it was enough. Merlin knew that this wasn't in his hands anymore. He knew he had no choice but to trust Morgana and place his stakes on her having truly redeemed herself. 

This was not his to mess with anymore.

*******

"You do not look happy." Arthur said once Morgana had left and Merlin had slipped out from under the bed.

"I am happy for you." He said, stretching his back.

"I want you to be happy for _you_."

"That does not make any sense." Merlin didn't want to be here right now. He didn't know how to feel about this. He picked up his clothes to leave.

Arthur came up beside him and wrapped his hands around his naked torso. "Do you not trust her?"

"I don't know what to think."

"She's my blood, Merlin. My own blood. And I need her with me. I need her as much as I need you and as much as I need Gwen."

Merlin dropped his clothes and leaned back his head to rest on Arthur's shoulder.

"What if she harms you?"

"I will have you to protect me."

"What if I am not there?"

They looked at each other.

"Where will you go?"

Merlin kissed him softly. Arthur was right _. Where will he ever go? He will always be here, in his home. In Arthur's arms._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not a long chapter but a huge transition in Arthur's and Morgana's attitudes.


	17. Seventeen: Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick look through Merlin's eyes as to what happens in the following year- winning battles, mending old relationships, coming to terms with new ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a fast forward kind of a chapter, like it mentions the important things that happen in the next few months.

**Merlin**

**A week later**

"After a long debate and taking into account of many considerations considerations, the Council appoints Lady Morgana as it's new member, tasked with advising and helping the King to the best of her strengths." 

Merlin smiled clapped with the rest but the laughter didn't reach his eyes. 

  
**Two days later**

"So will you make peace with her?" Gwen said after a long lecture about how good and perfect Morgana was again.

Merlin sighed, defeated. "For you and only for you." 

His mind was still troubled but the smile which appeared on Gwen's face slowed down the rapid beating of his heart.

  
**Two weeks later**

"And you sure this is the right passage?" Arthur asked, pointing to the map.

"I lived there for years, brother. I know that place inside and out." 

Arthur nodded. "By the fortnight, we attack." 

Merlin just stood back and watched, wondering if his opinion was even needed anymore. 

  
**The next day**

"Arthur, you must be careful." 

"I always am." 

"No, you don't understand. These are powerful enemies." 

"And I have powerful allies." Arthur said, pointing to Merlin. 

"You need something extra to help you?" 

"Something other than you?" 

Merlin looked at him long, wondering how to reveal another carefully kept secret.

  
**Five Days Later**

  
The knights watched in awe as the King pulled out the sword from the stone, looking all glorious in the sunlight. If they could, they would rush in the battle beside their King right then and there. 

  
**Twenty days later**

"What if this is a trap?" 

"We know all their secret passageways, Merlin. We are not going in blindly."

"They could be waiting for us." Merlin whispered fiercely inside their tent.

"Then let them. I don't fear them. I have you." Arthur kissed Merlin lightly. 

"Swear to me that you will not jump in front of anyone. That you will save your life first." 

"What kind of King does that?" 

"I don't care about your Kingship. I care about _you_. Swear it on your mother." 

"I will. Only if you swear the same." 

"I will jump in front of only you. I don't care about the others." 

"Then I can't make any promises either Merlin." 

Merlin pulled at his hair in frustration. "Fine. Do whatever you want. Just don't go out of my sight." 

"I promise." 

They slept huddled together in the cold night under the stars.

  
**The next morning**

  
"This is our chance to defeat our longest standing enemies. We may win or lose in there, but whatever we do, we will do it with dignity! If you die, lay down your life with dignity. If you live, make sure you do that with dignity. And when you fight, you do not fight for me. You fight for Camelot and it's people. The people who include your family. The people who include _you_!" 

"For Camelot!" Gwaine shouted. 

"For Camelot!" 

"For Camelot!" 

"For Camelot!" Other voices echoed him. 

They had been camping in the forest since almost a week. Today they were going to attack. 

Merlin stood silently in the back. His eyes were on Arthur, watching and watching. He did not intend to take them off him even for a second.

  
**That night**

  
"There's too many of them, Sire!" 

"Keep fighting!" Arthur said from the frontline. 

Behind him, Merlin was blasting off the magical creatures without even looking at them. Anywhere he directed his spell, he hit some beast or the other. He felt drained of his energy. The magic in Cenred's air was too powerful. The Saxons and the beasts, all in Cenred's control. Camelot only had Merlin, but now he was falling. His head was on the ground and he felt the beasts come close. _Too close._

"Argh!" Arthur's pained voice fell on his ear and he saw a flash of blood. 

The air around him was too powerful, but he absorbed it. He absorbed all of the power. His eyes glowed and then there was only white. 

  
**Seven days later**

  
"Long live King Arthur! Long live Camelot!"

The chants echoed around the hall. 

Arthur put up a hand and there was silence. "I only have two people to thank for our victory. The Lady Morgana and Merlin. Without their help, we would never have been able to defeat Cenred. As a reward, I have appointed them both as the official Court Sorcerers!" 

A round of applause went through the hall. Merlin was laughing and clapping along with them. His eyes met Morgana. They smiled at each other. This time, the smile did reach Merlin's eyes. 

  
**Two months later**

  
"You should talk to her."

"About what?"

"About the fact that the both of you are cheating on each other but neither of you want to acknowledge it." 

"We will figure it out when it comes to it." Arthur huffed.

"When will it come to it?" Merlin sighed.

  
**One week later**

  
"I want to thank you. For helping us defeat Cenred." 

"This is my kingdom too. It was my duty." Morgana said. 

"Whatever. I just wanted to let you know that I am grateful." 

"I sure am delighted to have your gratefulness." 

Merlin let out a little smile at Morgana s sarcasm. He didn't meet her eyes even once. 

On his way out, he saw Gwen entering in. She had a small smile on her face but it vanished as soon as she saw Merlin and got replaced with embarrassment and.. _guilt?_ Merlin thought he should feel guilty too, for sleeping with her betrothed, but he didn't.

"Good morning, Merlin." 

"Good morning, Gwen." 

  
**The next morning**

  
"Will you ever marry?" 

"Of course I will marry, Merlin. I am the King." 

"But you are in love with me!" 

" _And?_ " 

"Will your wife be okay with this?" 

"What do you mean by my wife? Just say her name- Guinevere!" 

"You barely even talk to her." 

"Whatever this is- is between me and her. You should not concern yourself with everything." 

Arthur put on his shirt and left, leaving Merlin cold. 

  
**Three days later**

  
"I said I am sorry, Merlin." 

"I was never angry." 

"Then why haven't I seen you smile since the past three days?" 

Merlin turned around to look at Arthur. "Maybe because not everything is about you." He didn't know where his anger was coming from, but he did know that his words were a lie. This _was_ about Arthur. 

He left, leaving Arthur standing there for a very long time. 

  
**A week later**

  
Merlin and Morgana laughed at the same time seeing Gwaine bested Arthur during their practice session. They looked at each other, first a shy look. Then they saw Arthur getting up from the ground, half covered and mud and then they started roaring with laughter again. This time, _together_.

  
**Two days later**

  
"I liked it better when you hated me!"

"Please you sound like a love struck maiden whenever I don't talk to you. _Merlin please smile. Merlin please tell me what happened. Merlin please don't push me away. Merlin please-_ " 

Arthur threw a pillow at him, but Merlin dodged it. He felt happy. Things were getting back to normal. Morgana, Gwen, Arthur, they were all with him now. 

  
**Two weeks later**

  
"So _will_ you marry?" 

"Yes." 

"Who?" 

"Gwen." 

"When?" 

_Silence_.

  
**Two months later**

  
"You will make a good Queen one day." 

Gwen smiled at him. " _One_ day." 

"It will happen. Don't you look forward to it?" 

"Only a bit. I don't really know how to rule." 

_She didn't say if she was looking forward to marrying the King or not._

"Just be kind and you will do fine." 

As much as Merlin hated seeing someone else marry Arthur, he knew that Gwen will make the best queen out of all of them. She will understand the common folk better because she used to be one of them.

This thought slightly loosened the knot in his stomach.

  
**One month later**

  
"Will he forgive me again if he finds out about me and Gwen?" 

"He has no right to be angry." Merlin said. He was glad he could talk to Morgana about this. 

"Will they ever talk to each other?" 

"I don't know, Morgana. I don't know." They held each other for a long time. It felt right.

  
**Four months later**

  
"There are at least ten thousand guests coming." 

"I have heard they will serve peacocks in the feast." 

"He shouldn't be tainting the royal blood like that by marrying a _commoner_." 

"Is it true? Is the whole kingdom invited?" 

"Gwen is a sweet woman. She will make the perfect Queen." 

"They will distribute free food to all the five Kingdoms." 

"They look too beautiful together." 

"She's a shade too dark for him." 

"Let's hope she gives her a strong and beautiful son soon." 

The talk was all over the town. Some angry, some happy, with only a little bit of truth in them. There was one thing they all got it right- _the King was finally getting married._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it wasn't too confusing? 
> 
> Also, there are still a few more chapters to go, so don't give up yet!


	18. Eighteen: Guinevere and Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last day before the wedding (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short chapter but the next chapter will be much more interesting, believe me ;)
> 
> Anyways I am losing motivation for this story even though I only have to write 3 more chapters and I KNOW what's going to happen, but I just don't wanna wrote anymore help T_T

**Guinevere**

The evening light was coming through the window, a thin ray and yet lit up the room somehow. No candles were lit yet and the room had a stale smell to it. But it didn't bother Gwen. There was a good reason for which Morgana had dismissed all her servants for the day- it was Gwen's last day as a single woman. She hadn't emerged out of Morgana's room even once since last night. 

"Are you nervous?" Morgana said, looking at their intertwined fingers. 

"About becoming the Queen or becoming Arthur's wife?" 

"I don't know, both." 

"Well there's some things I can tell you about being a Queen." Morgana 

Gwen looked at her. "I forgot that used to be your dream." 

Morgana smiled sadly. "Used to be, Gwen. _Used_ to be." 

Gwen kissed her on the lips. "I am so glad you came back to me." 

" _So_.. you will be sleeping in Arthur's bed from now on." Morgana said. 

"I don't think he will be too pleased to have me there every night." 

"And I am pretty sure the guards will be very pleased to see the King and the Queen sleeping seperately."

Gwen fumed silently. 

"Or seeing the King spending most of his time with a Sorcerer rather than his new bride." Morgana continued. "Or the Queen sneaking off in the middle of the night to go visit someone else. It will all work out perfectly." 

Gwen put an arm over her own forehead. "I don't know, Morgana. I don't know how all this will work out." 

"If only you would talk to him.." 

"No." Gwen snapped. "I am sorry. It's just, please there's too much pressure already. I can't deal with any more of it." 

When Morgana remained quiet, Gwen said softly, "I know this is hard for you too, Morgana. And sometimes I feel like you are even more scared than me." 

"It's not that. I am happy for you.." 

Gwen shushed Morgana by putting a finger on her lip. "I want you to know that whatever happens, I will find my way back to you. Always." 

  
**Merlin**

  
"So big day tomorrow?" 

"Yeah." 

"Nervous?" 

"Nope." Arthur wasn't meeting his eyes. 

Merlin looked at George wiping the floor with a dirty old rag. He felt a little sympathy for the boy's knees. His own knees still felt chaffed raw. But then again, you could never tell what George was thinking. His face was always set in a straight expression. 

Arthur was sitting across the table from him. He had invited Merlin to come here for some "extra work" but unfortunately his servant had decided to clean the room right then, so they had to sit and try do some actual paperwork. 

"The decorations are looking good." 

"Good." Arthur said, without looking up from his papers.

Merlin kicked him from under the table. Arthur glanced at George and then at Merlin with his raised eyebrows. Merlin tilted his head. Arthur raised his middle finger. 

Merlin rolled his eyes. He didn't blame Arthur. He seemed frustrated all the time ever since he had finalized his wedding date with Gwen. He always avoided Merlin's questions about whether he and Gwen were ready to do it or not. 

Merlin slowly extended a hand across the table and brushed Arthur's hand lightly. Arthur tried to flinch away but Merlin held it tighter. His blue eyes threatened death, but Merlin shook his head defiantly. He pointed to George with his eyes and gave a warning look to Arthur.

Defeated, Arthur called out George's name. "I am gonna need you to take a trip to the kitchen and check how the feast's preparation is going." 

George bowed and left, finally giving them the privacy Merlin wanted. 

"What is wrong with you?" Arthur barked. 

"You are getting married. That's what wrong with me." Merlin snapped. 

Arthur yanked his hand away and got up. Merlin followed him immediately. 

"Why won't you talk to me about it?" Merlin asked.

"What is there to talk about?" Arthur said, his feet moving him away from Merlin. 

"What is there to _not_ talk about?" 

Arthur shoved a hand in his hair, frustrated as he stared out of the window.

"Arthur-" 

"I am a _King_ , Merlin. I have to get married someday." 

"I want you to marry someone who you are going to be happy with." Merlin said, coming up behind him, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh really?" Arthur turned around. "Then why don't you put on a dress and walk down the aisle instead of Gwen tomorrow?" 

"You will find some other beautiful princess some day maybe.." Merlin mumbled. 

"You don't get it, do you, _Mer_ lin? I don't want some beautiful princess from a faraway kingdom. I want you! And since I can't have you, the next best thing is-" 

"Gwen." They both said together. 

"Will you stop seeing me? After tomorrow." Merlin asked meekly.

Arthur's blue eyes bore into him. "Merlin, there are too many rumors flying around already. It's time we lay it off a little bit." 

Merlin nodded, tears filling up his eyes. "I understand." 

"Merlin." Arthur said softly, taking Merlin's face in his hands. "I am still here. I will still be here." 

"It won't be enough." He said, choking up. 

"I know." Arthur rested his head against Merlin's. "I know." He whispered softly.

Merlin lifted up his own face and kissed Arthur, maybe harder than he had ever before. "I want you. One last time." 

Arthur nodded, his face wet. "Tonight. Come see me. You will have me, Merlin. This won't be the last time I promise." Their fingers interlocked. 

"Arthur."

"Yeah?" 

"If we ever get married, I am not the one who will be wearing a dress." 

Arthur chuckled through his tears. "We will see about that." 

Merlin wondered when he will see that smile up close again.

  
*******

  
Merlin looked at the small heap of clothes laid out in front of him. There was a musty smell coming from them, a smell he associated with his own clothes. The court Sorcerer and the Queen-to-be, don't even have the money to wash their clothes properly. Technically, Merlin did have money now, but he either gave it to Gaius or sent it to his mother. He didn't remember the last time he bought something for himself. 

"Are you sure you want to take these to the royal palace?" Merlin scrunched up his nose. 

Gwen gave him a smile. "I don't want to forget my roots." 

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you are going to wear these as a Queen." He shoved her playfully. 

"Because you wear such fancy clothes Merlin." Gwen shoved him back. 

"Because I am not the Queen." 

"Given the amount of time you spend with the King.." 

Gwen looked like she regretted it as soon as she said it. Merlin knew that she must surely suspect about him and Arthur but it was a taboo topic between them. 

"Are you jealous?" He said in a casual tone, to bring down the tension. 

"Of you trying to become the Queen? Of course not." Gwen laughed and walked away to collect more of her stuff inside her small cottage. 

Merlin looked around. There was a bed in the corner and a table and two rusty chairs in the kitchen. A small cupboard stood in the corner, it's doors barely being held by their hinges. It was a lot better than Gaius'place. 

"Will you miss this?" Merlin called out. 

"A lot." Gwen said, putting her dresses in her torn out bag. 

"A normal person will be happy moving in a big castle." 

"Well then consider me crazy, Merlin. Because I am very sad leaving this place." 

"Because of the memories?" 

"Because of the memories." Gwen said, her voice taut. 

Merlin waited. 

"It feels like betraying him, you know? Arthur asked me to move in there ages ago but I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave my father behind." She sobbed. 

"Gwen." Merlin said softly. He didn't want to be here. He had seen enough tears for the day and seeing some more was making him very, very uncomfortable. Not to mention that he knew that for a time, Gwen indirectly blamed him, his magic more precisely, for her father. "He is not here., all right?" 

"How can you be sure?" Gwen said thickly.

"Because he is here." He pointed to her chest. "And he is in Elyan. And wherever you two go, he will go with you. Elyan is in the castle, you will be in the castle, he will be in the castle too. I promise." These were the words he used to convince himself every night whenever he thought of his father or Freya or Lancelot. That they were still with him, every step of the way. 

Gwen wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I am sorry for resenting you before because of him. And I am sorry for being such a mess a day before my wedding and for keeping you here even though you might have a thousand more important things to do." 

"Come on, Gwen." He ran his hand through her hair. "Name one bride who isn't nervous before her wedding. It is expectable." 

Gwen chuckled softly in his ears. "Being a servant was so much easier." 

" _Right?_ So much easier." 

Gwen pulled back. "All we had to was be ordered around all day." 

"And I couldn't do even that." 

"Bet you regret that now." 

"You think they will take us back if we reapply?"

"Can we go do it now?" 

"Stop packing. You might actually need those clothes." 

They laughed together for a long time, teasing each other and making fun of royal people, all the while not saying the one thing they wanted to say the most- _neither of them wanted Gwen marry Arthur._


	19. Nineteen: Morgana and Arthur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before the wedding: Part 2

**Morgana**

The voices of random people shouting and the hurried footsteps running around the corridor filled the room. Morgana's head was pounding from hearing these sounds every moment since the past few weeks. Even at night, there was always something or the other going around. Even when a small candle was out of order, everyone started rushing around as if Cenred was attacking them again. 

_Just a day more_ , she assured herself, _and it will stop._

"They are leaving no stone unturned to give you the perfect wedding." 

Arthur grinned sheepishly, slumped in his chair in front of her. He seemed drunk already. "They just want to impress their King." 

"You were _always_ the lavish kind, brother." 

"Says the girl who once threw a tantrum in front of the whole court when Uther refused to buy her jewelry from a foreign merchant." 

Morgana laughed. "In my defense, the stones were rare." 

"My wife is rare too." Arthur said. There was something in his eyes in that moment that annoyed Morgana. Something like triumph. _Was he mocking her for having something she can't have?_

"I can't take this anymore." She said, gesturing to the noise outside. "I need wine." 

"Be my guest." Arthur gestured to the wine cabinet behind her. When Morgana smiled at him politely, he looked normal again. It must have been her imagination. 

She got up and brought out two glasses from the cupboards and turned away from Arthur to pour the wine.

"You know, Morgana, I don't want this wedding." 

Morgana turned around with the glasses in her hand, shocked. "What?" 

"I mean I don't want this _lavish_ wedding. The large feast, the extravagant guests, all the bootlicker courtiers, I don't want any of it." He said, taking a glass from Morgana. 

"Then why did you arrange all this?" 

"I wanted to give Gwen what she deserves." 

"Then you don't know her at all." 

Arthur took a sip. Then another. Then he drained his glass in one go. 

"It's just one day, Arthur. After this is over, I will make sure you get a long break. You deserve that." 

Arthur nodded. He looked outside the window longingly, where the sun was setting. There something seemed to be wrong with him. Well, he _was_ getting married to someone he didn't want. He looked so broken at the moment, Morgana _almost_ pitied him. 

"There are too many duties. Too many responsibilities. Sometimes I wonder if I should just run away." 

Morgana stared at him. "Run away where?" 

"I don't know. Anywhere but this."

"Will you take Gwen with you?" 

"Yes of course I will take my wife with me." The look in Arthur's eyes clearly said something different. 

"Uther.." Her heart was beating fast. _Why was Arthur suddenly pouring his soul out to her._ "Father left it all to you." 

"There are many rulers among us, Morgana. If only they'd get a chance to do this." 

Morgana was aware that she was taking very short breaths. "Brother, what you are implying here.."

But Arthur didn't seem to be listening to her anymore. He gave a long sigh and his eyes were steeled with determination. "But he still trusted me to do this. I should uphold his legacy, right?" 

Her brother was gone. The King was back. "I suppose you want an early night today. I do not wish to delay you further from it." 

Arthur barely seemed to register her farewell. His eyes were still fixed on the window. 

"Arthur." Morgana said, a little loudly. 

"Yes?" Arthur said, getting up and turning his focus back onto her. "Yes, of course. See you in the morning." 

Morgana looked at him and then did something that surprised even her. She hugged Arthur.

"Take care." 

"Um, you too." He seemed a little shocked at her gesture, but he welcomed it all the same. 

When she left, she felt a little better about Arthur not giving up his throne.

  
 **Arthur**

  
Arthur paced around his room nervously, his eyes constantly on the sun. He felt restless, _jitterish_. The sun was almost set and there still was no sign of Merlin. Their last night was coming and his lover wasn't here. 

He wondered if he should go look for Merlin himself but then he thought against it. Someone or the other would stop him on his way to ask him this and that. He didn't want that. His head was pounding already. 

His thoughts wandered to Gwen. And the day he had told her that they should get married. He didn't expect her to , but she had agreed. He didn't even remember the last time they spoke to each other properly. All he wanted was to get married so that he could get his uncle off his back. Agravaine definitely wasn't happy seeing him marry a servant and it gave Arthur a small amount of satisfaction. 

"Yes I have his clothes for tomorrow." 

Arthur's heart skipped a beat at the voice coming from outside. 

"The King has asked to not to be disturbed." 

"This is important." 

"He asked to not let anyone in tonight." 

"I am pretty sure he can make an exception." Merlin said slowly. 

"Um, yes of course, My Lord. Of course." The guard lost all the firmness from his voice. 

When Merlin came in carrying a set of clothes, closing the door behind him, Arthur whooped him lightly on the head. 

"What did I tell you about threatening guards with magic?" 

"They were getting on my nerves." Merlin said, planting a peck on Arthur's cheek. 

"Why didn't you just sneak in like always?" Arthur asked, looking at Merlin carefully setting his wedding clothes in the cupboard. "They will be expecting you to come out soon." 

"My mind wasn't working. I just walked in without a plan." 

Arthur rolled his eyes. 

"You know what? _Here_." Merlin lifted his hand towards the door and muttered a spell. "They don't remember me coming in." 

Arthur smiled as Merlin walked back to him. "You are late." 

"Can I make it up to you?" Merlin said, snaking a hand across Arthur's waist. 

"I am pretty mad. It's going to take the whole night." 

"I am not complaining." 

This night felt just as special as their first one. Since last year, they had done this hundreds of times before, in hundreds of way. They didn't have anything new left to try. But there was something about this night. Something that couldn't make Arthur stop. He kept consuming and consuming Merlin, and Merlin kept giving him everything he had. 

"Damn what is going on with you?" Merlin asked, panting, when they were finally done. 

"I can still go on." Arthur smirked. 

"Nooo.." Merlin said, pushing Arthur off himself. 

"I don't know." Arthur stared up at the ceiling. "I have too much energy inside me for some reason." 

"Save it for the endless feasts and bootlickers tomorrow." 

Arthur groaned. "I promise you I'll be sleeping the whole time." 

"That's what you do on most Council meetings." 

"That's because I have you to take care of everything." 

"Do you also want me to take care of satisfying your wife in the bed from tomorrow?" 

"Merlin!" Arthur said, punching him on the arm. 

" _Ow!_ " 

"You deserved it." 

"Not any more than you, _clotpole_." Merlin hit him with a pillow. 

Arthur climbed on top of Merlin, pinning him to the bed. "You cannot win from me." He kissed him all over, making Merlin laugh. 

"Really?" Merlin's eyes flashed and suddenly he was on top of Arthur. 

"I can do this all night." 

To Arthur's surprise, Merlin rolled off him and fell back on the bed. 

"If we continue this, we'd both be limping the whole day. Imagine the King walking on one leg to his own wedding." 

Arthur pouted. "Fine." 

"Sleep." 

"I don't _want_ to sleep." 

"You cannot sleep during your own wedding." 

"Devise a spell to keep me awake tomorrow." 

"No."

"It's an order." 

"No." 

Arthur slapped a pillow on his own face and grunted with frustration. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Everything inside him felt like it was on fire. 

"You will suffocate yourself." 

"Fuck you." 

The pillow was gently removed from his face and Merlin's nose was on his. "I told you," He whispered. "No." 

"What is up with you tonight? Other than your usual I-am-marrying-a-woman-i-don't-love-but-I-am-too-scared-to-tell-her?" 

Arthur grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. "I am scared." 

"Of what?" 

"Falling asleep." 

Merlin shifted upwards, pressing Arthur's face to his chest. Arthur could hear the soft thump of his heartbeat. He felt himself calm down a little. 

"I am here, right? I will be here." 

Arthur knew that Merlin wasn't talking about just this night. His heart felt full. His fear was fading away. Gwen was his friend. They will talk it out. Come to a settlement. About Merlin and Morgana.

"She will make a good Queen." He said quietly.

"Yes she will."

"She deserves that." 

"Yes she does." 

"I owe her that." 

Merlin sighed. "Yes you do." 

Arthur got everything handed down to him from his birth and Gwen has always fought her way through life, when she deserved as much as him, and even more. He will make sure that her name goes down in history. 

The things he had said to Morgana earlier tonight, he meant it. Maybe when his wife will become capable enough to run this kingdom on her own, he will take Merlin one night and run away. To Ealdor or Cenred or any faraway kingdom, it doesn't matter. Where they can spend every night together in peace. 

"It will be okay." Merlin said softly after seeing Arthur getting lost in his own thoughts.

 _Yes it will be._ Arthur felt a calm wash over him.

"Hold me, _please_." Arthur whispered, his eyes drooping. 

The last thing he heard was Merlin whisper "Stay with me", before he fell into the darkness. 

  
*******

  
_You could hear the screams in the whole castle. Everyone was rushing around, asking each other what happened, but no one could guess the truth. There were guards rushing in and out, knights searching the whole castle arresting any suspicious looking person, cooks throwing out food by gallons, and servants running around dazed. The great hall was trashed with ruined decorations, the common people had already started gathering on the outskirts of the castle, whispering and mourning. The guests looked confusing, unsure what to do now that the wedding was cancelled._

_Everyone kept whispering and wondering about what really happened. No one was allowed in the Room, except the Physician and the Sorcerer. People asked each other whether it was poison or a sword, friend or a foe, for love or for hate._

_No one knew the details exactly. No one was giving the answers. The only thing they knew was that on the morning of his wedding, the Court Sorcerer had found Camelot's young King lying on a bed, without breathing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...


	20. Twenty: Guinevere, Morgana and Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen, Morgana and Merlin cope with Arthur's death while the question of who will sit on Camelot's throne arises

**Guinevere**

She walked around hopelessly, trying to wrap her head around this. It all happened so fast, one minute she was ready to walk down the aisle dressed in all white, next moment,she was the grieving widow in black. A widow, _did she even have the right to call herself that?_ She wasn't married yet. She was free to pursue her heart wherever it went, marry whomever she wants. But somehow it all felt wrong. The thought of love, marraige when Arthur was gone, it didn't sit right with her anymore. She may not have become the perfect wife Arthur wanted, but she will definitely play the role of the grieving widow to the end of her days.

  
**Morgana**

  
Her chest hurt and her eyes were puffy. _Why? Why was this happening? It wasn't supposed to be this way._ Arthur was her brother, after all.

Morgana took a deep breath, wiping her tears on her sleeve. She has to be strong for this. She can't be weak, not after all this time. 

  
**Guinevere**

  
She heard the creek of footsteps in her cottage, wondering who it will be this time. Since two days, people have been coming and going to her house, with flowers or food, some trying to console, some trying to coax her for a reason. A reason as to why their King was dead. Surely young Kings don't just drop dead from a heart attack a night before their wedding. No foul play detected. Gwen had no answers for them. She didn't even want to think about that. Two guards were posted outside her cottage permanently, and she had asked them to deny entry to everyone except a few choice people. 

"How are you doing?" 

Gwen ran to hug her brother. He had been there constantly for her. 

"I am.. _trying_." She had put on a brave face in front of the common people, but this was her brother. She didn't want to lie to him. 

"It will take time." 

"I know. It hurts, you know?" 

"He was the love of your life, sister. Of course it hurts." Elyan said softly. 

Gwen nodded. This was one lie she still couldn't come clean about in front of Elyan. And maybe, she never will. 

"Gwen.. I hate to spring this on you, but you-" Elyan cleared his throat. "You need to come to the Court." 

"Why?" Gwen asked, her heart thumping loudly. 

"It's a mess in there. They are split. Arthur left no heir, but Uther did. Half of them want Morgana to sit on the throne." 

"And the other half?" Gwen said, dreading the answer. 

"They want you." 

"If Morgana wants the throne, then give it to her. She has more right than me." 

"Gwen." Elyan held her by her shoulders. "If Arthur had lived to see one more sunrise, you would have been the Queen. You have more right than anyone." 

Gwen shook her head rapidly. "I won't go against Morgana." 

"If Morgana knows what's best for the Kingdom, she will step down herself." 

Gwen took a step back, staring at her brother with wide eyes. Truly they don't expect her to be sole ruler of this Kingdom. She was fine becoming the Queen when Arthur was by her side, _but now?_

  
 **Morgana**

  
The funeral was tomorrow morning. Merlin had finally agreed to release the body. He and Gaius have been checking it for any indication of foul play since three days but they haven't found anything. The King needs to find rest, find peace, Agravaine has said. Gaius had tried to protest, but Merlin gave up without any fight. 

Morgana went through her closet to pick out a black dress. She wasn't there to see Uther's cremation, but she will be there for her brother's. She will be there to see Arthur burn. 

  
**Merlin**

  
Arthur's face was sunken in and his hair was slick. His hands were clasped together, and his fingers were already starting to blacken. His eyes were tightly closed and his skin was as pale as a ghoul. 

Thousands of people had come to pay tribute to the young King, nobles and common people alike. The animals and birds seemed as quiet as the people. It looked as if even a small sound would send ripples down the air, tearing apart the King's parting soul. 

The body was smelling badly, but no one was complaining. The servants tried to clean and wash it with perfumes as much as they could, but it only worked to amplify the stench. It didn't bother Merlin though. Since the past three days, he had barely let it out of his sight. The stench didn't bother him. Nothing did, really. 

Sobs were breaking out from the crowd as the King's betrothed stepped forward with a flaming torch in her hand. Her head was covered by a thick veil to conceal her tears. The King's sister stepped in stride with her and they both marched forward towards the pier. 

When they reached their King, everyone waited for the flame to touch the hungry woods. They stood there for some time, one hand on the torch, one on the heart. Their heads turned to each other, and behind the veils, a silent agreement passed between them. They turned around to look at Merlin and beckoned him forward. 

Merlin didn't know what was happening until Gaius was grabbing his elbow and marching him forward. When he reached the two mourning ladies, they each took a step to the other side, giving Merlin space to step in between them. Merlin's hand found the handle of the torch, right below Morgana and Gwen's and then the stick was being hurled forward, almost touching the pier now. 

This was odd, letting a mere friend burning the pier, but no one complained. They knew that the King had some kind of a special bond with the sorcerer. They wouldn't take that away from him.

Merlin didn't move his eyes from Arthur until flames finally consumed his lover's body and then a pair of hands were pulling him backwards. He let himself be wheeled away, away from Arthur. He didn't look back. 

  
**Guinevere**

  
The black attire lay on the floor of the cold room. Gwen looked at herself in the mirror, and at the new clothes laid on the empty bed. Morgana had brought them for her specifically for today. Gwen had constantly asked her to not do this for her, but Morgana refused. She rarely won any arguments against the sorceress. And she was the very reason Gwen was even going today. 

Gwen felt empty as she walked through the corridors. Ever since Arthur's death, there was this eery silence in the whole castle, which made her feel uneasy. She missed her little cottage, but she can't go back there until and unless a decision has been made. 

Gaius was waiting for her at the door. He looked her up and down and gave an approving nod. 

"Where is Merlin?" Gwen asked, putting her arm through Gaius'. 

"Already inside." Gaius said, motioning a guard to open the doors. 

Gwen was a little disappointed. Having Merlin by her side always comforted her. 

When she entered the court, all eyes fell on her. It probably may be the first time the anyone has ever seen her in such expensive clothes. 

Morgana was standing on the head of the table, along with Agravaine. Gwen felt uneasy seeing her like that. It has been almost a week since his funeral, but it felt odd to see someone else at the head of the table other than Arthur. It should have been kept empty at least until a new monarch is appointed. 

Morgana gestured her to stand by her side. Everyone else was already at their place.Merlin was standing meekly in his place, his eyes looked unfocused. As if he couldn't care less about Camelot's fate. 

After the formalities were done, Agravaine opened his mouth to Gwen's annoyance. 

The meeting was long and rather aggressive. On one side, the knights and some other councilmen kept arguing that Gwen should take the throne because she was selected to be the Queen by the King herself. Agravaine and the other insisted that since Morgana had the Pendragon blood in her, which made her the official heir. All along, Gwen's head kept pounding and Merlin and Morgana remained quiet. 

"I don't get what is there to argue! She is the King's blood. She is Uther's heir!" 

"Uther never acknowledged her as his daughter." 

"He would have but he died too soon. God rest his soul." 

"She killed him!" 

"I will not let a mere servant sit on the throne of the great Camelot!" 

Gwen and Morgana exchanged a look. The whole was talking about them as if both of them weren't even present there.

"Uncle please-" Morgana begin but was shut off by Gwaine's loud voice. 

"You will not insult the Queen-to-be under my nose." 

"I would never dare to insult Lady Morgana." Agravaine retorted back. 

"Because she will _kill_ you as soon as you do!" 

"Well you're still standing here, aren't you ,Sir Gwaine?" Morgana said in an amused tone. 

Gwen touched her arm lightly to tell her this was barely the time for jokes. She shook her head exasperatedly. 

The argument went back and forth after that, no one reaching a decision. After a while, Gwen gave Merlin a pleading look. 

"They will listen to you." Gwen said quietly.

His eyes focused on her. 

"Please." 

Merlin gave her and Morgana a long look. He finally seemed to take his surroundings in. And then, he walked out, just like that, without saying a word. No one paid any attention to him. 

Gwen stared at his retreating form, her mouth hung open. She made to follow Merlin, but Morgana held her hand. 

"Let him." She said. 

Gwen felt her temper rise. Even though, Morgana was by her side, she felt alone. Arthur was gone and now, Merlin was going away too. She was not ready to lose them both. 

"Silence!" She screamed. Everyone fell quiet,giving her a shocked look. 

"I had enough of this! Arthur would have never wanted to see his sister and wife fight for his throne! And to see you fight like wolves, would make his blood boil!" 

"Gwen calm down-" 

"No, Elyan. This is ridiculous! Look at this Kingdom already divided now that Arthur's gone." 

"She has a point." Gaius said. "Arthur would have never wanted this.

"I believe there is a simple solution to this problem." Agravaine said. "One that may involve a bit of sacrifice. Children," said, turning to Gwen and Morgana. "The only way to resolve this is either of you stepping down and giving the throne to the other." 

Gwen's heart started beating faster. She knew this will be coming but it didn't make it any easier. It was always a looming question between them, and she and Morgana had never once brought up this question between themselves. 

Gaius said. "Let them decide in peace. We shall give them a day to think about it-" 

"There is no need for that." 

"I beg your pardon?" Gaius said. 

"I said, there is no need for that." Gwen said with determination in her voice. "I have made my decision." Everyone looked at her with baited breath. "I do not want the throne." 

"Gwen what the-" Morgana took her by her arm and turned her towards herself, all courtesies forgotten. "If anyone deserves this throne, it's you!" 

Gwen shook her head. "You are Uther's heir. You are Arthur's heir. You deserve this." 

"But Gwen-" 

"What's done," Agravaine cut her off, his voice oddly cheerful. "is done. The Lady Morgana will be our new Queen." 

Gwen gave Morgana a smile and she smiled back gratefully. The room rang with cheers of "Long live the Queen!"

Gaius and the Knights were silent. When Gwen met his eyes, he gave her a disappointed look, as if saying "What have you done?" 

Gwen couldn't wait to get back and get out of this ridiculous dress. Maybe even get Morgana out of her dress. When Gwen looked at her, she didn't look back at her. She look wonderstruck on the echoes of her name ringing in the court. 

Gwen walked out of the room, without telling her first. For some reason, she was sure that Morgana wasn't going to notice her absence. She was the Queen now, after all. _Her dream was finally fulfilled_. Gwen shuddered with an uneasy thought. 

  
**Merlin**

"How could you sit there and let it happen?" 

Gaius'words barely registered in Merlin's head as he stared at his unmade bed. 

"Merlin!" 

"What?" Merlin asked, turning around to look at the old physician. 

"She's Queen now!"

"So?" 

"You have no problem with her as your ruler?" 

"She's a Pendragon."

"And?" 

Gaius sighed. "Kilgarah asked you not to trust her." 

"But _Arthur_ asked me to." 

At the mention of his name, Gaius'voice softened. "Merlin, Arthur's gone. But we are still here. You have to look out for us." 

"I don't understand what's the problem with Morgana as our Queen. She has changed." 

"I am not saying she hasn't. But I still don't see her fit to be a ruler." 

"You will have to put your faith in her , Gaius." 

Merlin felt suffocated, like he felt at the court. Being around anyone who wasn't Arthur suffocated him. He wanted to be alone. But Gaius or Gwen never seemed to want to do so. 

"Merlin. If not for anyone else, you should think of Gwen. She was Arthur's love." Merlin flinched but Gaius didn't notice. "She is being wronged and you know it!" 

"She made her choice. You should respect that." 

Merlin walked out of their home, not knowing where he was headed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for killing off Arthur, but I wanted to write a tragic series and not a fairy-tale happy ending. 
> 
> When I said this story was canon-rewrite, I didn't mean it was canon fix-it 💀


	21. Twenty One: Guinevere, Merlin and Morgana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new Queen is going to be crowned, but no one seems happy with it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be a big reveal in this one, so stay tuned.   
> Also, please don't hate me for this 💀

**Guinevere**

Gwen wasn't sure about what she has done, she thought as she walked out of the court. She was happy to see Morgana become the Queen, to see Arthur's own blood sit on the throne, but a part of her felt uneasy. She cursed herself for feeling this way. She knew it was Agravaine's trap, because he knew that Gwen would have to step down herself. Because Morgana wouldn't, _why wouldn't she?_

"Gwen! Gwen!" 

Gwen stopped in her tracks when she heard someone call her name. 

"Leon. What is it?" 

"I need to talk to you." 

"About what?"

Sir Leon looked around. "Not here." He gestured to an empty broom closet nearby. Gwen raised an eyebrow but followed him. 

"What's wrong?" She asked once they were both inside. The closet was large enough to fit both of them, but it was still a bit too cozy for her taste. She only wished no one saw them. The king's widow having an affair with a knight will become very scandalous. 

"What's wrong with you?" Leon said in an angry tone.

"I beg your pardon?" 

"You know what I am talking about. How could you let her be the queen?" 

Gwen raised her hands in frustration. "If I hear one more time that Morgana doesn't deserve to be Queen because of who she used to be, I am going to lose it! She has done nothing but be nice to everyone around here and yet you and Elyan and Gwaine and even Gaius won't trust her! Notice how you were the only ones opposing her appointment? What does that tell about you, Leon?" 

Leon laughed humourlessly. "You think it's about who she _used_ to be? I could give less crap about what happened years ago."

"Then what _is_ the problem?" 

"The problem," Leon rested his back against the closet wall. "is not what she used to be. The problem is what she _still_ is." 

Gwen stared at him. "You think you know her better than me?" 

"Oh I wouldn't dare to, Gwen. I know how close you two are. In fact, therein lies the problem." His voice softened. "You are _too_ close to her to see what she really is."

Gwen didn't know where her anger came from, but the next moment she practically shoved Sir Leon into the wall. He looked unaffected by her bout of anger.

"Why don't you tell me, then? What is she?" 

"Gwen I don't think you want to hear it right now. What I came here to say is that giving up the throne was a big mistake. And if there is any chance you can convince Morgana to give it up, you should do that. For the love of Camelot, take that throne." 

Gwen put her face in her hands. "It's done, Leon. I gave it up in front of the whole court. Morgana, she.. she wouldn't-" 

"If she loves you as much as you love her, then why wouldn't she?" 

The question hit Gwen like a boulder. Why _was she so sure that Morgana wouldn't do the same for her? Why was she sure that the throne mattered more to Morgana than Gwen? Something in her eyes and the way she has acted since Arthur's death.._

"I can't, Leon. It's too late." 

Leon rubbed circles on his forehead. 

Gwen touched his forearm. "What is it that you are dreading? Sorcery?" 

"No, it's.." He gave a long sigh. "Leave it, Gwen. There's nothing you or me can do now." 

"Leon, please. Tell me what is it that makes you dread her so much?" 

"Look when she came back, I wanted to trust her as much as you or Arthur did. I grew up with her too. But when she came out of prison, I didn't see the old, soft girl in her. Something about her had changed. There was a darkness in her eyes, especially when she used to look at Arthur. And during council sessions, she spoke too much, had a lot of advices up her sleeve for the King, talked to the councilmen too sweetly, _this and that_. And the way she sometimes behaved around Gwaine and Percival, she never said anything hurtful directly to them, but the eyerolls or small remarks made under her breath, we sometimes heard them. You know who she reminded me of in those circumstances? _Uther_. Like she has somehow started sharing his distaste for the smallfolk in the royal positions. In those moments, I forced myself to remember that this was the girl who used to believe that every person is equal and no one bigger or smaller than others. But I just can't picture her anymore." He gave a long pause. "These are small things, okay? But they always strike me as a bit odd." 

"These.. _things_ , why wouldn't Arthur and I ever notice them?" Gwen asked, her heart caught in her throat.

"Maybe you never wanted to? Maybe your eyes shielded you from seeing that all the little things that made Morgana who she was, were gone. Remember how long Merlin was wary of her too?"

"No.. Leon.. she- I would have seen if she ever had any suspicious behaviour. She is _not_ evil!" Her voice was heavy. 

"I _know_ she is not evil. I am just saying I don't see her fit enough to be the Queen." 

"I _will_.. she listens to me. I will keep her in check."

"Let's hope you do, Gwen. You are our last hope. The whole council is on her side. And they have already made it clear time and time again how much they hate seeing Gwaine, Elyan and Percival in Knight's clothes." 

"She will never hurt my brother!" Gwen sobbed. "And _Merlin_ \- he is still here. He will make sure no harm comes to any of you." 

Leon gave her a pained look. "Merlin is gone. I mean, he is still here in flesh, but his mind, it's no longer with us. I don't think he cares about what happens anymore." 

Merlin's cold eyes flashed in Gwen's mind, making her shudder. "I don't know what you said about Morgana is true or just illusions of your mind, but as long as I am here, I will not let her change anything in Camelot. I assure you." 

To her surprise, Leon gave her a quick hug and then left. She waited a bit longer in the closet, to make sure no one sees them coming out together. As she stood there, alone with her thoughts, what surprised her was _not_ the things Leon had noticed about Morgana, but how _easily_ Gwen had believed him. 

  
**Merlin**

  
He knew he should get up from the bed. And maybe go around and do some chores. Gaius was telling him about some mild sickness breaking in a village. Gwaine was talking something about the crown and sorceresses. He vaguely remembered being in court and all the shouting around him. He cannot, for the love of God, remember what it was about, though. He could barely remember anything since the past few days. Everytime he closed his eyes, he was waking up to seeing Arthur dead in his arms. _His_ Arthur, the Once and Future King, refusing to open his eyes or to budge an inch. _His_ Arthur, the one who always shined so brightly in the morning sunlight, cold as ice in Merlin's arms. 

He didn't know how he had managed to put on his own clothes before the rest of the servants arrived. He didn't know what explanation he had given to the councilmen about how he had found the king dead in his bed when no guards had seen him come in. He remembered Gaius talking to them, feeding them lies, because Merlin was too weak to do magic to defend himself. Maybe Morgana helped him. He didn't know. He didn't care. It wouldn't have mattered to him if he was lying in a cold dungeon right now. He would have been grateful if they'd executed him. He wondered whether he should go and lie about killing Arthur. At least that way, he will get to see the man he loved once again. 

_But he should stay, right?_ He has a duty towards Camelot. And he should find out who killed Arthur. Merlin owed him that much. But Gaius said it was a heart attack, no foul play. 

Merlin wished that there was someone involved in killing Arthur. That way, he can drown himself in revenge. But there was nothing to do. He fought all magical creatures, conspirists and even his own folk, the druids to save Arthur and yet his own fucking heart ended up killing him. How was Merlin supposed to save him from that? _Maybe if he had loved Arthur enough to heal his dying heart.._

He wondered if Arthur called out his name when he felt something wrong with his heart, but Merlin was too deep in his sleep to hear him. But surely someone outside must have heard him if he shouted. He would've shook Merlin, begging him to get up, to save him. Merlin could have done that in a beat. _So why didn't he? Why did he go away silently? Why did he never warn Merlin?_

He choked back a sob and buried his head in his already wet pillow. His head was filled with the same questions, questions he didn't have answers to. Questions he will never get the answers to.

He should get up, but not today. _Not today.._

  
**Morgana**

  
Morgana looked at the adorned crown kept behind the glass. She ran her fingers over it, aching to touch, but she wasn't allowed to. Not till her coronation tomorrow. It was nothing new for her. She came down here, every now and then, to look at the Queen's crown, locked away in a dungeon, bare of a head ever since Ygraine's death. It was going to touch Guinevere's head, but now it will be hers, just a day more and it will be hers. _Oh, the things_ _she has done to get it.._

Morgana closed her eyes and her mind flashed back to the events of the past couple years. 

From the moment she had Merlin chained up in her dungeon, everything had changed. Her initial plan was to kill Arthur's favourite pet, but when he started talking all about the King's _big_ heart, her whole plan changed. 

She knew that he was right when he said that her own army was not royal to her. She knew that he was right when he told her that Camelot will never be loyal to her if she killed their precious King. It was a truth that was in front of her eyes but she had refused to accept it before. _She knew she was failing already.._

But here was the boy, telling her that he was ready to forgive her, that Arthur had already started accepting magic and will soon accept her too. She knew that if she had the King's pet by her side, no harm will come to her. She even gave her body to him, to bind him to her. 

She later blamed herself for underestimating Merlin. The simpleton had managed to trick her and the next thing she knew, she was in chains, alone and powerless. _Not alone, no_. Her stupid uncle was always there, pestering her to make move against Arthur as soon as her chains were off. But she didn't. She had promised herself she would not make a move till she had Arthur's complete trust. Till his _people_ knew that she had his complete trust. 

She kept her patience. She let herself be locked in a cold, dark cell for about a year. Only two things got her through it - Gwen and the vision of this crown. 

Gwen- the sweet, innocent girl whose only crime was to love Morgana. She fought for her when no one else would. And Morgana, for all her crimes, she _did_ love Gwen. She loved her so much. She still did. The lust of the crown was strong, but so was the thought of getting Gwen back. She knew that the girl wouldn't be able to run from her once Morgana was begging for her forgiveness. She knew that Gwen wasn't capable of hating her forever. And neither was Arthur. 

Persuading Merlin was a bit harder. The boy never seemed to trust anyone around his King. Although ,his one weakness was falling in love with Arthur. And trusting anyone he asks him too. _She wins Arthur, she wins Merlin._

She felt sad. Arthur was her brother and he had shown kindness to her since last year. He did everything he could for her, but that wasn't enough to change her mind. It wasn't Arthur's fault, it was his father's. He just had to pay for it.

Besides, he wasn't completely innocent either. He was responsible for killing thousands of Druids, her folks, and no matter how many amends he makes towards them, he cannot return them what they have lost. He never saw their tears, Morgana did. And that was reason enough for her. If she could, she would have done the same thing to Merlin. He didn't deserve to be called a Druid. He sided himself with their killers over and over again. He was more of a Pendragon than Morgana ever will be.

But she didn't do it to Merlin. In fact, what she did to Arthur was much more merciful. Someone should be there to feel the pain, after all. The same pain her folks feel. Merlin's soul was ripped apart. At least with Arthur, she had only taken his life. And taken it quite peacefully. She knew that the poison which she had slipped inside his wine, will kill him once he was asleep. He didn't feel any pain. She owed him that much.

She could have killed him years ago, when they were at war. But the people would have never accepted her. And Gwen, she would have hated her forever. But now, everyone was ready to welcome the King's sister with open arms. Sure, Gwaine and some others were still resisting her, but they were mere flies. The ones she will swat away as soon as she gets the chance. They only had a voice when there precious King was alive. But he's gone now. _Courtesy, Morgana._

She had taken away the life of her brother, the Once and the Future King, Arthur Pendragon. She mourned him, more than she ever thought she will, but she didn't regret it. She did it for her and her true folks, she didn't regret it. And now, the crown was ready for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your opinions on the killer?
> 
> I am sorry for taking Morgana a character development away but this was how I wrote this story from the start- Morgana stabbing them in the back just when they had started to trust her. This story was never about her redemption, it was about her cunningness and brilliance. 
> 
> And if you see it from her side, she isn't completely wrong imo? I love Arthur Pendragon to death(literally), but he did kill a lot of innocent people and Merlin has always refused to hold him accountable for it because he's in love with him. I'm not saying that Arthur deserved to die. It was his father who made him this way and he was changing himself for the better. 
> 
> But these are medieval times, and I don't think anyone so a 100% right or wrong. People used to kill each other mindlessly back then, especially the royalty and that's what Arthur and Morgana have done. And I still love them both💀
> 
> Okay bye, my rant is over.


	22. Twenty Two,: Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin tries to forget Arthur but fails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just about Merlin's feelings and how he is coping with Arthur's loss

**Merlin**

No matter what he did, his mind wouldn't stop replaying Arthur's face. The blue eyes turning vacant, the warm skin freezing out, the hands which used to roam all over Merlin's body falling lifeless by Arthur's side, everything which made Arthur come alive was gone. And so were the things which made Merlin come alive. 

"Merlin, are you listening?" 

Gaius' voice cut through Merlin's thoughts and Arthur's face was replaced by another pained face in front of Merlin's eyes. 

"Yes?" Merlin murmured. 

"I said, can you pass me the blade?"

Merlin looked around. They were in a shabby cottage. A distraught woman was standing in the corner holding a child. A man was lying on the bed, with Gaius' hand working on his side. Blood was oozing out. Merlin remembered. The man had been stabbed in a local bar quarrel, not fatally and Gaius was positive a few stitches ought to cure him. Of course if Merlin wanted he could have cured the wound in the blink of an eye, as he has been doing since ever since magic became legal in Camelot. Gaius even joked about how Merlin was putting him out of business, but Merlin knew how happy he was to see magic being used for good again. 

Seeing the man groan in pain made Merlin wish he could cure him, but he couldn't. Ever since Arthur's death, he was unable to move even a single leaf through his magic. Any trace of his power was gone. 

"There. It's done. A few days rest ought to get you back on your feet." 

Merlin looked at the stitches on the man's side. The blood was still visible. He looked at the small child standing in the corner. _How could the man have been so careless, to risk his life for a stupid fight. How could he do this to his wife?_ He felt like puking. 

"I will be outside." He whispered to Gaius and walked out. He opened his mouth to inhale as much fresh air as he could, but the ache around his lungs wouldn't lessen. He sat down, face between his knees and tried to remember Arthur's face smiling at him. The feel of his skin against his own. 

A hand came to rest on his shoulder making Merlin look up. Gaius was looking at him with concern in his eyes. Merlin shook his head. "You go ahead, I will catch up." 

"Dusk will be upon us soon. I am not leaving you here alone." 

"I can take care of myself." 

"You don't have your magic. You are nothing but a bag of bones right now." 

Merlin let out a weak chuckle. He felt air return to his lungs. "You never hold back, do you?" 

Gaius grabbed Merlin's arm and tugged. "Come on." 

Merlin sighed, defeated and got up. He rubbed dirt off his pants. Gaius snaked an arm around his and they walked together. Gaius walked slow, but Merlin didn't mind. He was in no hurry to get to the castle. 

"Aren't you going to ask?" 

"Ask what?" 

"About what happened to me back there?" Merlin said. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Merlin considered. "No." 

"Then why shall I ask?" 

It was one of the things Merlin liked about him. He always knew when to talk and when not to. Everyone else treated Merlin like something broken, but Gaius still treated him like Before. 

"What will you like for supper tonight?" Gaius asked.

"Roasted chicken?" 

"I will try to roast.. some bugs." 

Merlin laughed. It has been days since he had done that. In fact it had been days since he had been out of the castle. Even though being in there suffocated him, he just couldn't find the energy to walk out, until Gaius forced him today. 

Merlin didn't have to worry about dinner because as soon as they reached the castle, they ran into Gwaine and others who had just gotten off duty. 

"Come on, just one drink!" Gwaine said, his arms around Merlin. 

"You guys go on-" 

"No you need to come." Elyan insisted. "It's been days since you have been there." 

"I need to sleep-" 

"No you don't." Merlin looked at Gaius with betrayal in his eyes. Then he groaned, knowing there was no use arguing Gaius. 

"Fine." He said reluctantly and the others cheered. 

He sat in the corner in the bar with his drink. Leon was off playing a dice game while Elyan and Percival cheered him on. Gwaine was flirting with a young maid who looked disinterested. Merlin laughed at him. _Typical Gwaine._

He wondered why hasn't he been here before. It was one of the few placed which was his own, which he barely ever shared with Arthur. Arthur was here sometimes, but it was different when he was around. The folks rarely loosened around their King, no matter how friendly he was. This was Merlin's place. In here, he could keep Arthur out. 

He took a swig of his beer and asked the bartender to refill. 

"That's enough, don't you think?" 

Gwaine's hair brushed against Merlin's face as he pulled a stool to sit beside him. 

"I take it your lines didn't work on the poor lass?"

"No worries. There will be others." 

"No worries when you are a royal knight." 

"That might not be true much longer, don't you think, eh?" 

"Why?Where are you going?" 

"More like where I will be _sent_ off to by the new Queen." 

It took Merlin a moment to register the words " _new Queen_ ". He felt an ache in his heart. 

"What's wrong with her?" 

Gwaine shook his head. "You've got enough on your plate."

Merlin nudged his shoulder. "I am still your friend. You can talk to me about anything." 

"Aye sure. But why don't you return me the favor? Talk to me first." 

"About what?" 

"You know what." 

"He's gone, Gwaine." Merlin said, rubbing his forehead. "What do you expect me to say?" 

"Anything you want to. Tell me how you are holding up or your favourite memories of him, anything."

"I don't want to talk about him." 

"Merlin, I am still your friend-" 

"Then behave like one!" Merlin snapped. "Stop treating me like I am this delicate thing that you all have to protect."

Gwaine gently laid a hand on top of Merlin's and squeezed. "I am sorry. I don't always know the right thing to say and end up doing more damage than good. I just want to be there for you, but I don't know how." 

Merlin felt guilty for his reaction. "You are doing fine, Gwaine. Just be here and it's enough." 

"Well.. we are not going to kiss now, are we?" 

Merlin laughed, the second time in one day. It was an achievement. "Not until I buy you a drink first." 

They drank together, watching Leon rip his opponent to shreds and Elyan and Percival hooting their lungs out. Merlin felt his chest lighten. 

He looked at Gwaine who was already on his eighth glass. 

"Sometimes I forget he was your friend too." 

Gwaine looked back at him, his eyes piercing Merlin just like Arthur's used to. "Well he was more than a _friend_ to you, wasn't he?" 

Merlin looked away. He didn't have the heart in him to hide himself anymore. To hide Arthur anymore. 

"Yes he was, Gwaine. Yes he was." 

  
*******

  
Merlin stumbled under the weight of Gwaine who was putting his whole weight on his shoulders. He was too drunk to walk and Merlin had the pleasure to carry him to the castle. 

"I love you mate." Gwaine mumbled. 

"Okay." 

"Noo say it back." 

"Gwaine I-"

"You are supposed to say it back!" He said raising his voice. 

"Fine!" Merlin said, putting a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. "I love you too." 

Gwaine chuckled. "There it is." 

Merlin threw him on his bed when they reached the Knights' chambers. Snores were ringing around the room. It was too dark to see anything.

After tucking Gwaine in his bed, Merlin turned around to leave, but collided with a small figure. 

"Holy shit-" He said stumbling back, but a hand was immediately clasped over his mouth. 

" _Shh_. You will wake the others!" 

"Gwen? What on earth are you doing here?" He whispered. 

"Can we move out of here first before we have swords drawn on our necks?" 

"Will you care to explain now why you were in a room full of men in the middle of the night?" Merlin asked once they were out in the hallway. 

"I can ask you the same thing." Gwen said, giving him a shrewd look. 

"I am a guy. It's not as weird for me." 

"You are not much different from girls when it comes to matters of night." Gwen mumbled. 

Merlin stopped. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing." Gwen stopped too and turned around. "I was just there to talk to Elyan before heading back to my home." 

Merlin softened. " _This_ was supposed to be your home." 

Gwen gave him a small smile. "Not anymore." 

"I helped you pack. You were so excited." 

"Yes I was, Merlin. But please don't feel sorry for me." She linked her arms with Merlin's and started walking. 

"I don't feel sorry for you." There footsteps echoed in the empty hall. 

"Good." 

"But _you_ feel sorry for me. I see it in your eyes." 

"Oh you have remembered that I exist?" Gwen said, shoving her elbow lightly in his side. 

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing." She had a little smile on her face. Merlin liked seeing her like that. He had always thought that her smile was the warmest thing on this earth. "I don't feel sorry about you either. I feel-" 

"-sad about me." Merlin finished her sentence.

Gwen didn't deny it. "Maybe. What you are going through is worse than anything I can imagine." 

"You lost your husband-to-be a night before your wedding." 

"The night before our wedding and yet he didn't spend it with me." 

Merlin felt guilt crawl into him. _But why was he feeling that?_ _He and Arthur never hurt Gwen_. 

"You didn't spend it with him either." 

"No I didn't." She admitted. "Can I ask you something?" 

Merlin wasn't sure he wanted to hear the question. She could ask him why Arthur was cheating on her with him or how long they had been in love or maybe she'd ask him why he was a degenerate, but that will be hypocritical coming from her, at least. Besides, it seems that half the castle knew about Arthur and Merlin and yet no one had given him any crap about it. 

"Sure." 

"What happened that night?" 

Merlin froze. He unlinked his arm and took a step back. "What do you mean..?" 

"I need to know what happened to him, please. And not some half-ass explanation about how he just passed away. I _need_ to know, Merlin." 

"I told everyone already, Gwen. I walked into his room early morning and saw that he was not.." He held back a tear. "He was not breathing." 

"No, not _this_. I said the _truth_ , Merlin." Her eyes bore into his. He felt himself shrinking.

Merlin looked around to see if anyone was around. But it was almost midnight and everyone was sleeping. There were barely any guards in this area. 

"The whole night," He started. "he was in my arms. His head against my chest, his legs wrapped around mine. And yet I didn't hear it." 

"Hear what?" Gwen's voice was low as the rustle of leaves on a tree. 

"His _heart_. I never heard it stop." Merlin didn't know why his face was wet. The images were flashing in his mind again. All day long he had tried so hard to keep Arthur out and yet here he was again, gaining control of him. _Possessing him._

"It.. just like that?" 

"Just like that." He didn't even know when his knees hit the floor. _Something was pulling his hair. Was it Gwen? But why would Gwen do that? No, it was.. it was his own hands, trying to make him feel something, anything else than Arthur Pendragon._ "Just like that." 

"Merlin.." He heard Gwen drop by at his side. "Listen to me." She had grabbed his hands, trying to pull them away from his hair but they wouldn't let go. "You couldn't have-"

"He was right beside me and I didn't save him." He was surprised he could get any words out with the way his own throat was choking him. 

"It wasn't your fault, okay? It wasn't." 

"Who else is there to blame?" 

"Cenred, druids, fairies, could be anyone. Not you." 

"There wasn't anyone, Gwen. It was his own fucking heart." 

"Merlin, young Kings don't just drop dead like that!" 

"He did, okay?" Merlin's voice was loud even in his own ears, but he didn't care. "He's gone and I didn't save him. That's all that matters." 

Gwen grabbed his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "That's _not_ all that matters, all right? He was _killed!_ Do you understand that? Your King was killed and all you care about is how you couldn't save him? This shouldn't be about _you._ It's about _him_! Someone took him away from us and it doesn't bother you. You were never this selfish, Merlin." There was fire in her voice, but her eyes, they looked so vulnerable, so broken. She was desperate. 

"It's not.. I am not.. he's gone." 

"I _know_ he is gone, but the one that did this to him is still here. Why doesn't it bother you?" 

"You think it does not?" Merlin said, finding his voice. "The moment I realized he was gone, I was ready to set this whole kingdom on fire. I was going to rage and scream till the world felt my pain like it's own."

"Then why didn't you?" She whispered. 

"Because nothing I do will bring him back, Gwen. I can see his killer on the gallows tomorrow and it will make me feel nothing. He left too big of a void. It sucked everything out of me. _Everything_. I don't feel anything except this ache in my heart, which never goes away. And it never will."

Gwen closed her eyes and let tears fall on her face. "I am sorry for shouting at you. You are not selfish. Just broken." She sobbed. 

"Come here." Merlin said, stretching his arms. Gwen fell into them and they stayed like that until sunrays hit their face and dried away their tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to describe Merlin's feelings of loss as best as I could. Everyone experiences loss differently. I recently lost my grandpa & I've mirrored Merlin's pain with my own.
> 
> Also I'll try to pick up the pace by the next chapter.


	23. Twenty Three: Morgana and Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen confronts Morgana over what she did.

**Morgana**

_Just one more day,_ the sorceress thought, _and this will be hers._ She looked around the room, the largest one in the castle, reserved only for the one who sat on the throne. Arthur and Uther were gone. The last remaining Pendragon will finally live in it - the one who deserved it the most. 

Not many people were allowed in here- ever since it's previous owner died- only his closest kin and friends. The room had been cleaned and stripped of almost all of Arthur's belongings. His few possessions were still here. His rings were kept in the cupboard, Gwen had refused to take them. Some other small things like important parchments and gifts from other royalties were lying around. Morgana had insisted them to be kept here, as a "tribute to Arthur's achievements and contributions." So that she can look like she's grieving her brother. 

Besides the one possession that Morgana wanted the most, _other than his crown obviously_ , was Arthur's sword kept on the table. It was beautiful, more beautiful than any other sword she had laid her eyes upon. There was something about it, that always drew Morgana to it, even when Arthur was alive. But she never dared touch it. She wouldn't touch it now, either. Not until she is the _Queen_. So that no one will be able to take it from her. 

Merlin had tried, of course. He had insisted for it to be burned along with Arthur. He was quite adamant over it, too. But Morgana had asked Agravaine to make sure that doesn't happen. It took some time, but together, they managed to convince Merlin to not burn such a beautiful sword. It wasn't that hard either. She wasn't even sure if he was even listening to them or just lost in his own thoughts. 

The door opened and Morgana immediately sprung around, her feet shifting her away from the sword, as if she was doing something wrong. She had no reason to feel guilty though. She wasn't doing anything wrong by being in her future room. 

  
**Guinevere**

"Morgana?" 

"Gwen." Morgana said. "Didn't expect to see you here." 

"I didn't expect to see you here either." Gwen said, stepping in and closing the door behind her. 

"You didn't come to me last night." Morgana said, a tone of hurt in her voice.

"I was with Merlin. He needed me." Gwen walked over to Morgana, but didn't touch her. She wanted to reach out to her, but there was an invisible wall between them. Whether it was created by Gwen or Morgana, she didn't know. But it was there. 

"How is he doing?" 

"Not good." 

Morgana nodded. "I don't expect him to." 

"How are you doing, Morgana?" Gwen asked. They haven't really talked much since Arthur's death other than casual conversations about dinner or knights or other stuff that young women usually talked about with each other. The stuff that _they_ never needed to keep the conversation going. 

"Oh Gwen, I am just bummed about all the preparations I have to do for tomorrow. The guests, the food, the decorations, everything's so much." Morgana's eyes were almost bulging out with excitement.

Gwen stared at her. "No, I meant _how_ are you doing? He was your brother too." 

" _Oh_ , um, I am very saddened, Gwen." Morgana looked flustered. "I am, of course, um, trying to keep myself.. _busy_ to not feel the pain." 

_Who was this woman?_ Gwen thought. "Right, I can see how saddened you are, Morgana." 

Morgana grabbed her wrist. "Is something wrong?" 

"You tell _me_ , Morgana." 

"I don't know what you mean." 

"You are different." 

"My brother just died." 

"And you don't seem to care." Gwen muttered, trying to free herself from Morgana's grip, but she was holding her too tight. 

"Do you want me to lay down a river of tears?" Morgana said, her voice rising along with Gwen's heartbeat. 

"No, I want to you to behave like someone who just lost her brother!" 

Morgana closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and when she finally spoke, her voice was low and sinister. "You know Gwen, I really don't understand what you are trying to imply here." 

Gwen lowered her own voice to match hers. "You tell me, Morgana. Is there something for me to imply?"

For a minute, both of them refused to look away. Gwen was used to these eyes, she had stared into them only a thousand times before. But today, there was something different about them. There was not enough warmth in them. 

Morgana looked away with a smirk, releasing Gwen's hand. "You are grieving your ex-lover. It has addled your brains." 

She made a movement to walk away, but Gwen wasn't ready to let her go. She held her arm tightly and her other hand reached Morgana's cheek. 

"It's _me_ , Morgana." Gwen said tenderly. "Talk to me."

Tears welled up in Morgana's eyes. "And tell you what, Gwen?" 

"Tell me you had nothing to do with.." Gwen swallowed, trying to find the courage in herself to say the words. "That you had nothing to do with.. Arthur's death." 

Morgana stood still, her face frozen with shock. 

"Morgana.." She whispered, tears grazing her cheeks. "Please." 

"Damn it Gwen! If you know then why do you ask?" 

Gwen took Morgana's face in both her hands and shook her. "He was your fucking brother!" 

"You think I don't know that?"

"Does that throne matters to you more than your own blood?" 

"It was the one thing that mattered to me more than anyone."

"Even more than me?" 

"Y..you never wanted the throne, Gwen. You gave it up yourself." 

"I am not talking about the past. I am talking about _now_. I know about your crimes. Will you silence me?" 

To Gwen's surprise, Morgana smiled. "You have _some_ audacity to threaten the most powerful sorcerer." 

" _You_ are not the most powerful. Merlin is. And if he finds about what you have done, he's not gonna be happy." 

"Merlin does not have an ounce of power left in him. I don't sense any magic radiating from him anymore. Your precious knight is gone."

Gwen dropped her hands. "Are you threatening me?" 

"You threatened me first." 

"Do you expect me to stay silent?" 

"Do whatever you want." She leaned in and kissed Gwen on the cheek. "Start all the scandals you want. I am not going to hurt you to silence you. In fact, I don't even need to. Who's going to believe your word against mine?" 

It was as if those words lit a fire inside Gwen. It happened in an instant. Morgana took a step back to walk away, but Gwen's eyes fell on the sword and suddenly it was in her hand and then inside Morgana's heart. 

  
**Morgana**

Morgana was falling to the floor, clutching her chest. The pain was too much. She heard Gwen drop to her knees behind her, sobbing uncontrollably. 

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to!" 

"Gwen.." Morgana gasped. "What did you do?" 

Gwen put her hand on top of Morgana's bloody hand. "You left me no option." 

Morgana looked at her wound covered by their joint hands. She could feel the blood oozing out. Gwen was not an hunter, yet she had still managed to stab her right where it mattered. 

"I thought you.. you _loved_ me." Every word was a strain on her. 

"I did." Gwen said in a thick voice. "Hell I still do. But I couldn't let you get away with this. You were my whole world. And I cannot see you plunge into the darkness once more. I don't have the energy to pull you out of there anymore." 

Morgana felt her own tears sting her cheeks. "I am sorry. For what I did to you." 

"I am sorry too." 

"Come here." 

Gwen shuffled closer, careful not to touch Morgana's wound. Their foreheads touched with each other. 

"I want you to know.. that.." Morgana coughed out blood. "That any good I had in me.. it came from you. Only you." 

"You are good, Morgana. You just made some wrong choices. Many wrong choices." 

"I loved him too, Gwen. Just not enough to.." Morgana splattered out more blood. 

"Shh, don't speak." Gwen whispered softly. 

"Not enough to let go of my.." _Cough_. "..dreams."

"I know." 

"Forgive me.." 

"I already did. I forgive you. I love you." 

"Kiss me." Morgana blurted out. For a moment, she thought Gwen might reject her, seeing blood falling out from her mouth. But the next moment, her lips were crashing on Morgana's, trying to breathe as much life into her as she can, but it was hopeless. Morgana could feel dark spots in her vision, and her heartbeat was insanely slow. She closed her eyes,feeling Gwen's lips on her one last time. _She had always thought it was the best thing to happen to her._

  
**Guinevere**

Gwen didn't remove her lips from Morgana's until she could feel any more warmth coming out of them. They were ice cold. 

Gwen yanked the sword out of Morgana. She didn't know why she did this. Or how she will be able to live without the love of her life. But she also knew that she would never be able to live knowing her lover was a cold-blooded killer. Love wasn't just about loving. It was about saving. And she has saved Morgana from another fall into the darkness. She didn't do this for Arthur. She did this for herself and Morgana. 

That's what she will have to tell herself to make herself sleep at night. But that wasn't her biggest concern right now. Her biggest concern were the guards rushing in through the door and then handcuffing her and escorting her out of the room. 

She soon found herself in a dark, cold cell. Chains decorated her hands. There was an odd stench, coming from somewhere she didn't know. 

The events of the last year started flashing in her mind. The Pendragons were gone. And now, here she was, right where her father, Morgana and Merlin were left to rot. To her surprise, she started laughing. She didn't stop for a long while. The guards outside threatened and shouted at her to stop, but she wasn't scared of them. _Her life was over, what was left to be afraid of?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the short chapters but I am trying to wrap up this story as fast as I can.


	24. Twenty Four: Guinevere and Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin finds out why Gwen killed Morgana

**Guinevere**

The sentence was delivered to her in the dark, as she lay sprawled on the floor, not even bothering to get up or acknowledge the men in there. The only men who had been to see her since the last two days. No sign of Elyan, Gwaine, Gaius or Merlin. She wondered if they will even be there tomorrow.

She could've begged for the councilmen's mercy, they certainly wanted that, but she knew that she wasn't going to get any. And begging some musty old men for her life, least of all _Agravaine's_ , will never be the last thing she does. She will walk to the gallows tomorrow morning in chains and in dignity.

  
**Merlin**

  
Merlin dragged his feet through the hallway, not paying any attention to the chatter of the servants everywhere, who oddly fell quiet as soon as he came near them, leaving Merlin little to guess as to who the chatter was about. 

He wondered why he was still the hot topic in the castle. Arthur's death had become old news, and with it, so should be the sorcerer who found his body. The latest talks were all about the death of the third and the last Pendragon, killed by her most trusted servant, the king's betrothed. He wondered where they brought Merlin in all this. He didn't even _want_ to know. When his mind failed to arouse any curiosity as to why the sweet, _perfect_ Gwen would kill the love of her life all of a sudden, a few mindless chatters about him will definitely not. 

He was hoping for some peace and quiet at Gaius', so that he can sleep his head off, after all the errands Gaius had made him run all day. But when he reached the door, he was surprised to hear people talking inside. _Not here too,_ groaning he pushed open the door to see what it was all about.

Gaius lived in a very small excuse of a home, with barely any place for proper decorations or even, furniture. But it had never bothered Merlin. He was always grateful for Gaius to give him even so much. He never noticed how small the room actually was, until he saw four knights crammed in there, along with the old physician. 

"What are _you_ doing here?" Merlin asked, stepping inside. 

"Merlin, good lad, you are home." Gwaine said. "Come sit." Gwaine said, looking around the room for Merlin to sit somewhere. Gaius was sitting on the one proper furniture they had- a painted wooden chair which had been a gift from a grateful patient of his. Leon was perched on the old three-legged chair, trying very hard to not move, lest he end up losing his balance. Elyan, Gwaine and Percival were all crammed up on Gaius' bed, almost sitting on top of each other. How Percival had even managed to fit inside this hole was a mystery to Merlin. 

"Never mind." Merlin said, seeing that his only option to sit was on the floor. "What's it all about?" 

"Gwen." Percival said. 

Merlin had figured as much. He also suspected what they were going to ask of him, sooner or later. He stayed quiet.

Leon cleared his throat. "She is sentenced to die tomorrow." 

Elyan wiped at his eyes with his knuckles. 

"For killing the future Queen." Merlin said tonelessly. Gaius raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything. 

"Look, I know what she did, but she's my sister. I can't let her die." Elyan said, frantic.

Merlin felt for him, he really did, but he _knew_ he couldn't give him what he was asking for. "When was the trial?" 

"That's the point," Percival said, looking angry. "There never was one. They just sentenced her out of the blue." 

"That mouldy halfwit was at it." Gwaine said. 

"Agravaine may be a halfwit," Gaius opened his mouth for the first time. "But he was in no way to be underestimated. He has taken control of sll the affairs, seeing as he was next in line for the Pendragon throne. He isn't letting anyone see her or talk to Gwen. He says her crimes are far too inhuman to be treated like a human." 

Elyan flinched at those words. Gwaine put an arm around his shoulder. 

"Does anyone know? Why she did this to Morgana?" Merlin asked. 

They all exchanged glances with each other, not meeting Merlin's eyes at first. 

"What?" Merlin asked loudly. 

"Look, Merlin." Leon said in a soft voice. "We are only speculating here, but there can be only one reason. Nothing else makes sense." 

Suddenly Merlin didn't want to be there anymore. He didn't want to hear anymore about Gwen or Morgana or.. _what he knew was coming._

"Gwen loved Morgana deeply." Gaius continued. "Why would she stab her out of the blue and that too with Arthur's sword?" 

Merlin closed his eyes at the mention of the Excalibur. How he had begged Morgana and Agravaine to dispose of it. That in the wrong hands it could become very dangerous. _Oh Morgana, what did you do?_

"We think that Morgana was behind Arthur's death." Percival said, looking at anywhere but Merlin. 

The words rang in his ears. Morgana was behind Arthur's death. Some part of it had started suspecting it, when he heard about the witch's death. But he was too afraid to admit it. Because admitting it would mean that it was Merlin's fault. Merlin who brought in the killer, hoping to keep it in chains forever, underestimating Arthur's ability to trust and love. Merlin who begged the sorceress to come here, right under the nose of the one person she'd give anything to kill. Merlin who had let his guard down, started trusting Arthur's judgement as his own. Merlin, who was to blame for Arthur's death. _Only Merlin._

"Merlin..." He didn't know when Gwaine had gotten up and was now touching his shoulder to talk to him. Merlin immediately jerked his hand off. 

"Get out." He whispered. 

"Merlin I beg of you to keep a rational mind right now." Leon was at his side now. 

Merlin shook his head frantically, refusing to look at any of them. "Leave me alone." 

"Merlin, you need to hear us out." Even Gaius'g voice did little to calm him down.

ELyan was near him now, sounding as desperate as Merlin was feeling. "She's my sister. You owe her this." 

"I said get _out!_ All of you!" Merlin shouted and the whole room fell quiet. He closed his eyes, clutching his hair, refusing to look at anyone. Something inside him had snapped. He could feel his heartbeat growing. _He felt this weird energy inside him again, knowing that if the knights didn't leave right now, it will destroy them all._

Long after they left, Merlin came to his senses. He found himself lying on the floor, his cheek wet with tears, wondering how the woman Arthur was meant to marry, but never wanted to, gave him better justice than his lover ever could. 

  
**Guinevere**

She didn't sleep the whole night. She had tried to, of course, but she had never expected it to come. Her eyes were still wide awake, her heart beating loudly. She had promised herself she would go out with dignity, and she will not let anyone see her fear. 

The guards came to escort her out. When she was taken out of the dungeon, she squinted. The sunlight too cruel for her eyes too accustomed to the darkness. The guards weren't gentle with her either. They pushed her roughly when her weak legs refused to walk with their fast pace, almost making her stumble. Their comments about her being a _queenslayer_ didn't help either. But she stayed quiet during all of this, refusing to give them the satisfaction that they have hurt her. 

When they came outside, a large crowd was gathered. Gwen was not surprised. People love seeing another human in torment. But as she was approaching the gallows, she noticed there was little joy on those faces. There was only sorrow. _Maybe they were mourning their ex-queen-to-be._

She saw Elyan standing near the wooden post, with the rest of the knights, his eyes looking puffed and swollen. He ran to her as soon as he saw her. 

"Gwen..I am sorry.. I am.. there was nothing I could do.." He sobbed. 

"Elyan, it's okay." Her cuffed hands reached for her brother's face. "I am doing this for Arthur. It's okay." The look that exchanged between them assured Gwen that he knew exactly why she had chosen to do what she did. Her truth will live with someone. 

"I love you, sister.. I love you." He said as the guards urged Gwen again to move. 

"I love you too." She managed to land a weak kiss on her cheeks as the guards started pushing her to move. 

She heard her brother call out her name over and over again but she didn't look back. She heard Leon and the others holding him back, comforting him. _At least he wouldn't be alone_ , she thought with relief.

"Guinevere was seen stabbing our Queen-to-be Morgana Pendragon to death and has, in full sanity, confessed to doing so." Agravaine's voice boomed over the crowd, as Gwen was made to stand on the wooden plank. "For killing a member of the royal family in cold blood and betraying someone who considered her a most trusted friend, a sister even, she is to be hanged until death." 

For a crowd supposed to be mourning their Queen, there was little cheer at those words. Gwen closed her eyes as the noose fell on her neck, soft as a petal, but heavy as a rock. And then she waited. _Ready to plunge._


	25. Twenty Five: Merlin and Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin regrets not helping Gwen sooner.

**Merlin**

Merlin woke up with his whole body stiff as a rod. His joints hurt and he couldn't feel half of his face. He sat up, wondering why he was feeling this way and realized it immediately- he had passed out on the floor last night. Wiping drool off his mouths, he got up, stumbling. He wondered where Gaius was, why didn't he pick him up, then he remembered kicking everyone out last night. _Why did they listen to him, anyway? He was nothing but a bag of bones now, what were they afraid of?_

As if on cue, the door opened and Gaius walked in, looking even worse than Merlin. His hair was tangled and there was dirt on his robes.

"Where have you been?" Merlin said, happy to be the one asking the question instead of the one being asked. 

"What's it to you?" Gaius murmured, closing the door behind him. 

"Have you been drinking?" Merlin asked, scrunching his nose when Gaius came closer. 

"Yes I was." 

"Why?" 

"What do you mean by _why_? I am old enough to make my own decisions." Gaius started making some potion, probably to cure his hangover, his eyes squinting with the sunlight. 

"Well you are _too_ old to handle those decisions." 

"Do you have a point, Merlin? Because I already have a headache. I don't need another!" 

"It's.. it's just not like you." Merlin said, feeling a little hurt at the old man's words. 

Gaius gulped his potion in one go. "It's not like you to give up on your friends either." 

_So that's what this was about_. "You know there is nothing I can do for her." 

"So you don't even try." 

"I lost my powers!" 

"You lost your will to live, Merlin! _Not_ your powers." 

Merlin chose to ignore the first words. "I can't do magic and you know it." 

Gaius' voice softened. "You still have it inside you. We saw it last night." 

"What?" 

"When you lost your temper, we saw it in your eyes. There was a flash of gold." 

Merlin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If his magic was back, he definitely _couldn't_ feel it. 

"Her execution is today. Will you at least be there?" 

"I can't watch it." Merlin muttered. 

Gaius rested his hand on Merlin's shoulder, forcing him to open his eyes. In that moment, he didn't look angry or drunk. He only looked a sad, broken, old man. "Merlin, I have already lost two children. Don't make me lose another."

  
**Guinevere**

  
The noose was on her neck, as she waited for the plunge. She waited for the words, signalling the executioner to go ahead. She could hear people sobbing in the crowd, Elyan being the loudest. Her own tears were absent. But she was shaking like a leaf. Regardless of what she told everyone and even herself, she was afraid. 

"Now!" Agravaine's voice was loud, but not louder than Gwen's heart. Her hands clenched as the plank gave out from under her and she fell. The only thing her eyes could see was darkness. 

  
**Merlin**

  
_Don't make me lose another. Don't make me lose another. Don't make me lose another._

Gaius words repeated in Merlin's head like a mantra. He couldn't get over the look in his eyes, the way he had pleaded with him.  
Merlin hated himself for letting him and everyone else down. Especially Gwen. He owed it to her to at least be there when it happens. Gaius left about half an hour ago. Which means it was going to be done soon, or was already done.

He grabbed his jacket and ran out, with Gwen and Gaius on his mind. 

  
*******

  
A large number of people were gathered. He couldn't see if the execution was done or not. He hurriedly made his way through the crowd, pushing away as many people as he could. 

When he reached to the front, he saw Gwen on the stand, a black clothe covering her face. Just near the gallow, the knights were gathered along with Gaius. He could see the tears in their eyes. No one paid him any attention. Merlin knew it was too late to say anything to Gwen or to tell her that he was there. _With_ her. 

On the opposite side, Agravaine was standing, surrounded by his guards, with a crown on his head. Something about the sight made Merlin's blood boil. Maybe it was his best friend about to die, or maybe it was the vile man wearing his lover's crown on his head. The lover he helped kill. 

"Now!" Agravaine opened his mouth. 

Merlin had seconds to act. He saw the executioner pull the lever and immediately raised his own hand, pointing it at Gwen. He couldn't break her fall, but he was able to break the rope around her neck. 

The crowd started shouting as she fell, breaking the wood beneath her. It would hurt, but at least her life was saved. Elyan rushed to her, his sword striking at her chains.

"What in the name of the gods is going on here?" Agravaine shouted, his face red with anger. Silence fell. 

"I couldn't let you hurt an innocent." Merlin said calmly. 

"This woman killed our queen!" 

"Who killed the King." The crowd collectively gasped at Merlin's words.

"How dare you, _boy!_ " Agravaine stepped down from his platform, pointing his sword at Merlin. "You come in here, using your sorcery to free criminals and accuse our Queen of something like that!" 

Merlin refused to move an inch. "Queen- _to-be_. And I am not just accusing _her_. I am accusing you too." He turned to the crowd and raised his voice. "People of Camelot- you need to hear the truth! This man-" He pointed to Agravaine. "-along with his precious neice, the Lady Morgana, are responsible for killing King Arthur." Merlin waited as the crowd started whispering and pointing. "Arthur's betrothed, Guinevere," He continued when the crowd fell silent again. "A grieving lover, upon finding out the truth, delivered justice for her lover by herself." 

"Lies!" 

"He speaks the truth." Gwen came forward. There were a few cuts on her arms and stomach, but she looked otherwise fine. "I killed Lady Morgana with a heavy heart. Because she confessed to me about being responsible for her brother's death." Her words stung Merlin, but he maintained a hard face. 

"My dear people, do not pay any attention to these lowlifes whose only purpose is to stain the royal blood's name." Agravaine said, but he lowered his sword. Fear was evident in his eyes.

Gwen took Merlin's hand in hers as they stood side by side, facing the crowd. "If you do not believe us, at least believe our love for King Arthur." She said. 

The crowd started murmuring, not knowing what to believe. Merlin knew it was stupid to blame Agravaine and Morgana without any proof. It was all futile. There was nothing he could do for Gwen, either. If anything, he'd soon be strung up with her. 

"I believe them." Gaius said, walking over to Gwen and Merlin. 

"Me too." Elyan said, followed by Percival and Gwaine.

"Me too." Leon joined them. 

Some of the people looked convinced, but that wouldn't be enough. Gaius and the knights were only signing their own death sentence by declaring their support for them. 

Merlin waited with baited breath, waiting for the people to pronounce their judgement. From the corner of his eye, he saw Agravaine shifting around restlessly, muttering something in a fellow councilman's ears. 

"I believe you." The cook came forward this time. "There is no way Gwen will raise a hand on someone who doesn't deserve it." Some cookboys walked with her. 

"I believe you." A servantgirl who Merlin didn't know by name, but had seen several times in the castle, spoke up. "Gwen has always treated me like a little sister and I know her heart does not hold any darkness." 

"I believe you." Merlin recognised the green boy who used to saddle Arthur's horse. "M'Lord Merlin cared a lot for His Majesty. If he says his sister killed him, then his sister killed him." Merlin beamed at him as he joined their small suicidal group.

The group soon became large as more and more people started stepping up, mostly smallfolk like servants or village-dwellers, talking about how Merlin had helped them in this way or that or how Gwen has always taken care of them. Soon, almost half of the crowd was standing with them.

"Enough of this bullshit!" Agravaine finally spoke up, raising his sword again. "I will not let people of the common blood tell me how to rule my kingdom!" 

"It's not your kingdom, Agravaine. It was Arthur's." People started hooting and whistling as Merlin continued. "You only care about the throne. Morgana only cared about her powers. But Arthur and Gwen, they cared about this kingdom. They cared about the people. How _dare_ you take this away from them!" 

Agravaine narrowed his eyes, unable to speak as the crowd cheered loudly. "I am Arthur and Morgana's heir!" He finally bellowed. 

"No, you are not." Gwen smiled at him. " _I_ am. If you hadn't killed him a night before, I would have sat on the throne." 

"As if I would've ever let a commoner stain the royal throne! The brat had it coming!" 

It was all they needed. Agravaine had dug his own grave. The people chanting Gwen's name. He heard his and Arthur's names in the chants too, but most of all, they were calling for their new Queen. 

"Stop this madness!" Agravaine was shouting but the crowd started closing in on at him. His eyes were jumping out of his socket with fear and he slashed his sword through empty air, trying to keep the mob at bay, but no one took his threats seriously. When he realized it, he dropped his sword and started running in the opposite direction. He turned once to look at Merlin, with venom in his eyes, who gave him a sweet smile. Merlin never saw him again. 

  
**Guinevere**

  
She walked the long hall, her dress flowing beside her. Everyone was wearing red that day, in order to honor the Pendragons. The hall was draped with red curtains. 

She knelt before the throne, gracefully accepting the crown on her head. It felt heavy, and she prayed for it to not fall and make a fool out of her in front of everyone. 

She stood in front of the throne, beaming at the people below her. The people who had clenched her from the jaws of the death and put her here. She wondered how she had managed to please the gods so much, but here she was.

She smiled at Merlin beaming at her and felt tears fill up her eyes. He was the only one left. _Arthur and Morgana, both gone_. She closed her eyes to picture Morgana smiling at her and felt at peace. This was the old Morgana, the one Gwen had loved. The one she still did. 

She opened her eyes when the crowd started chanting her name along with the words she had never thought would bring her happiness. She let it wash over her.

_Long Live the Queen! Long Live the Queen!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's mostly done- only the epilogue remains and um, it's not gonna be nice, but Merlin's chapter still needs to be closed. 
> 
> Hope y'all like Gwen as the new Queen btw!


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is well in Camelot, as well as it could be. But is Merlin really happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..this is it. Please don't hate me for this-

The wind was strong making his neckerchief slap his face with its force. His fist were clenching and unclenching of their own accord. His other hand was holding the Sword, dragging it behind him. His legs were automatically carrying him forward. 

"Are you sure about this, warlock?" 

Merlin turned around to look at the source of the voice- the one who had carried him here. "I have come this far, haven't I?" 

"You can still turn back." 

Merlin smiled at the old dragon. "Won't miss me now, will you?" 

"I have seen many men rise and fall in my time. What's another mortal to me?" 

"Thank you. For everything." 

"I should have warned you about the sorceress." 

Merlin gave him a sad look. "Morgana is on me. Not on anyone else." 

"You always put too much on your shoulders, young warlock." 

"I am getting rid of it all now." 

Kilgarah chuckled. "Are you sure the little queen will be okay without you?" 

"Gwen is more than capable of handling herself. Besides she has Gaius, Gwaine and everyone else with her. And Agravaine's men are gone. Some of the druids have become a part of the court to help with matters of sorcery. And last I heard, there were talks of her to be married to Sir Leon. She will be okay." 

"Do they know what you are up to?" 

Merlin waited some moments before answering. "They _know_ that I am not coming back." 

"I have seen many men rise and fall, Merlin. But never have I seen a love so powerful." 

"Do me a favor, will you?" Merlin said. 

"As I've been doing since the moment I met you."

"Take care of Camelot." 

"I will try my best." The dragon said in a dry tone.

Kilgarah gave him a bow and took off, stirring the winds once again. Merlin turned around to face what was coming. He looked at the large blue stretch in front of him. The Lake of Avalon. He started walking forward.

 _He wasn't scared, which surprised him. He should be scared, right? They say it hurts. A stab of the sword through the chest would be easier. Poison would be easier._  
 _But drowning,_ he thought as his feet touched the cold water _, drowning was the most painful of them all._

_There could be no other way. To find heaven, you have to walk through hell. And he will walk, inside the water, until he won't be able to breathe anymore. Until all he is feeling is pain. Until the sweet release of death engulfs him._

_Maybe he wasn't scared, because a part of him always knew that he will end up doing this. A part of him had known since Arthur's death. There was no Merlin without Arthur._

His feet struggled to steadfast themselves against the slippery bottom of the lake. The sword helped him hold his balance. _He could've stayed to help Gwen rule Camelot, turn it into a kingdom he and Arthur always envisioned. But what was the use? He had nothing left inside him, nothing. His love for Arthur had consumed his love for everyone else. Sure he could use magic again. But it was weak, feeble._

The water was upto his chest now, and he kept walking. _He knew Gaius needed him. He knew Gwen needed him. But he had nothing left to give them. They would only come to hate him over the years. He didn't belong with them anymore. He didn't belong with the living._

He felt the water tickle his chin. Soon it will be hugging his nose. _At least his last act had been to save Gwen. At least she will remember him as her saviour and not the blank shell of a human he has become._

His feet wouldn't stay upright anymore. He didn't have the energy. Not without any air. The air with which he didn't have access to any more. He couldn't feel the sword in his hand anymore. Maybe he had dropped it. _Or did a hand take it from him?_ No, he wasn't thinking clearly. 

The water was in his mouth, but Merlin didn't try to reach for the surface. He could still swim his way out if he wanted. Maybe try a spell or two. But his _heart_ , it was drained. It had suffered too much for too long. There was nothing for him over the surface. 

He could feel his lungs fill. He gasped and thrashed, but it was too late. His limbs were too weak to swim. No spell would work either. He felt his leg tangle with a seaweed. He was being pulled down, by something or someone. 

He took one last look at the top, where the sun was shining brightly. He couldn't reach it anymore. He finally closed his eyes and let the water take him. Merlin wasn't fighting anymore. 

  
*******

_In the darkness, a lone soul was waiting. It had been waiting since the moment it arrived. Others passed it and moved on. But not this one. This one was stuck, neither here nor there. Waiting and waiting.._

_But it's wait was finally going to be over. Because another soul had just entered. Unlike other souls, it didn't move past. It had only come here to find it's mate. The two souls reached for each other in the dark. And then, they were one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is mortal here. I thought about doing the thing where he tries to drown himself but is unable to & has to live the rest of his life alone, but that would be too cruel.   
> I also thought about giving him a chance at a life protecting Camelot, but then he would never really be happy without Arthur. There were too codependent on each other. What would y'all have preferred?
> 
> __________________________________________________
> 
> Aaandd I would like to thank everyone who has been here since the start & also those who joined later. Thank you for bearing with me and this wild fic. I love y'all so much ♥️♥️


	27. Epilogue 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small epilogue for an alternate ending, set after Chapter 25.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been a long time since this was finished, but I know some of you didn't like the epilogue and tbh, me neither. I regretted killing Merlin off. He needs to find his own way after Arthur and not just follow him into death.  
> Of course, both the endings are valid, and you can chose whichever you like ♥️

_Years have passed since Arthur Pendragon's death. His fiancé , Guinevere Pendragon still rules the throne. A few years after gaining the throne, she married the head of the Knights of the Round Table, Sir Leon. Childhood friends eventually turned to lovers. She is expecting soon._

_Queen Guinevere is described by her subjects as a kind and just ruler. And she should be, since she was born and has lived among those people almost for more than half her life. She understands their problems because they once used to be hers. These people couldn't have asked for a better ruler._

  
_The druids and the court live peacefully now. The policy of death sentence to anyone who practiced magic, while revoked under King Arthur's rule, the full impact of the revoke is being seen now. There are a lot of druids in the court. Lots of druids travel around the kingdom, curing anyone or anything who needs it. The attacks on the kingdom have decreased less and less over the years and are to a minimum now, thanks to a number of tamed magical creatures guarding the borders._

  
_Of course, the most famous druid, Merlin, who is also their King, is still at the court. He doesn't live in the palace anymore. He travels around, with his druid followers, healing and helping people. He hasn't married or aged. Many people believe him to be immortal. A lot of maidens have tried their way with him, but to no avail. The warlock remains an ascetic._

_The King of the Druids and the Queen of Camelot are good friends. They often hold feasts together which are open to the whole kingdom. They are seen laughing and jesting together with the knights._

_There is happiness and joy in the royal palace. It's every corner is filled with light. Every corner except a couple of old chambers. Those chambers are left dusty, untouched. No one except the Sorcerer King and the Queen are allowed to go there. And they do go there often. No one knows what they do there. The sorcerer, especially spends most of his time in the chamber. No one disturbs him while he's there. He doesn't speak of it to anyone, not even Gaius, the court physician._ _Everyone can see how much they still mourn their friends._

_No one will ever inhabit these chambers. No one wants to. They are filled with too many ghosts, their stories written in tragedies. These are of course, the chambers of Arthur and Morgana Pendragon. And they will forever remain so._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if it was better or worse, but personally, I like it more. Hope y'all do too♥️

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comments if you liked it & stay tuned ^_^


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